FUS RO DAH!!!

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what is worse than tripping over a tree root? getting mauled by a 60 foot bear

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Guess what? AIDS!

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roses are red yoda is green my lightsaber needs 2 hands if you know what i mean

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What do you call a dog with no wings? A dog

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what do you get when you give an eevee a french stone? Napoleon!!!

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Roses are Grey Violets are Grey I am a dog.

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Well judging by the fact that there's no actual door in between us I'm pretty sure you can decide who it is.." "'Well judging by the fact that there's no actual door in between us I'm pretty sure you can decide who it is' who?"

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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Jim bean takes out a can of- Let me guess- No.

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why was the boy sad because he had a cat stapled to his face

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Why did the pirate get kicked out of the pirate movie? He killed 7 people while looking for treasure under the seats.

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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Why did lil' Jimmy fall off his bike? The weight ratio between the left and right sections of his body became uneven due to some sort of change in the traction of the tires to the bumps on the road/ path.

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Why did the black girls wear fancy clothes to the mall? Public nudity is considered a crime in many parts of the world. It would be advisable to wear clothes in public areas, so as to avoid being arrested.

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Stranger at door: *Knock knock* Oliver Twist: Who's there? Stranger at door: Not your parents.

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What would happen if nyan cats crashed with eachother? It would be a great impact, and we'd all be sad.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding two worms in your apple. and being an orphan.

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Why did the 100 year old man die? He was really old and his heart stopped beating after his BLT.

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What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk, idiot.

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What did Mars say to warn Prehistoric Earth before an asteroid hit it? Nothing, sound can't travel through space, it's a vacuum. The dinosaurs will be missed.

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Q:Why was the frog sad A:He was stapeld to a boys face.

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Why did the kid get a bicycle for his birthday? Cause his father is a respectable parent who loves his child.

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What do you call a man who is walking into walls and poles? A blind man who really needs your help.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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