Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like trains (:

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not Madeleine mecanne.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" the Eggman and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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roses are red violets are blue i am bipolar so am i

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What does a scouter say about his power level? It's over 9'000!!!!!!!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares, it's a chicken.

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What did the man order at KFC, in Miami? A face.

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what brown, red, and green and smells like poop. diareeha

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Why did the man break all his bones? Because his parachute failed to open

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What did Steven Hawking get for Christmas? ------ ------ ------ A bike.

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roses are red violets are blue get to close to me ill have to give aids to you!

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If a tree falls in the forest, does anyone hear it? no, but it was home to several endangered species that are now extinct

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A Russian Irish and American beat up on a Canadian. the only thing wrong with that is i forgot the , in between the races. but on the good side the Canadian was Justin Bieber

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you were so loud you woke helen keller up!!!!!!!

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68

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Whats worse than one pregnancy scare... whats worst than two pregnancy scares? being forced to having consensual sex with a grizzly bear.

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why were the girls confused? they were in a logic class and couldn't seem to find the irrationality chapter in the book

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So I was sitting in traffic the other day... And I got run over.

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what happens when you put Rihanna and Chris brown in the same room? Rihanna dies

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He had no distinguishing characteristics whatsoever.

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Q: Who`s the badly treated kid at school who always faces punishment, but is inadvertently provided with recompense every single day (s)he attends class A: The poeple who fall into the category that does not encompass the people who are treated with dignity at school and never experience punishment there, but always receive some kind of reward for trying to succeed anyways.

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A man comes home to find his wife sleeping with another woman. He molests them both.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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you're mommas so fat that her doctor says she is morbitly obese and may die of a heart failure later in life

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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