A man became infected with Staphylococcal Food Poisoning. The doctor said, "You only have 24 hours to live." He died 24 hours later.

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how much does a pirate pay for an earing? $2.50

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What's worse than a holocaust? two holocausts.

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How did the blond become a pilot? By attending flight school, graduating, applying to an airline to which she subsequently was hired to, taking frequent training courses, and beginning work.

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Yo mommas so fat that when she walked into the ocean all the whales were far away. However, if the whales did happen to be closer to your mom it would be highly improbable that they would sing.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I gotta go to the bathroom

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What do you call a green land with wheels? Grass lied about the wheels.

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Why couldn't the hobo buy any clothes? They did not have his size available.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Knock, knock! Who's there?! Your Mom! Your Mom who? No really. Let me in.

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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And the girl said: "I'll be ready in 2 hours!"

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What do you call one white guy surrounded by 10 BIG black guys? The most common NFL Offence

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There were three people on an airplane. A Mexican, an American and an Italian. The plane chrashed and they all died.

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wanna hear a joke? i dont

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How many theropists does it take to change a lightbulb? -only one, but it takes a very long time and the lightbulb has to want to change.

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What did the black guy get on the SATs? Who knows, that isn't a specific person

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To be, or not to be. That is not the question. The question is, what time is it?

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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An Asian walks into a bar, but the bartender asks him to leave the bartender replies "we're closing soon" but he secretly harbored racist views that he had not yet come to terms with and was deeply ashamed of.

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a kid was running across the street. he just got hit by a truck

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How did Clumsy Clearance eat shit? He was in the Human Centipede.

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I'm sn otter

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What did the tree say to the other tree?....nothing cause trees can't talk!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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