What's the difference between a dead baby and a pineapple? There will be no funeral for the pineapple..

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A Chinese kid fails his math test.

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What do Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder have in common? They are both blind.

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Why couldn't the black man participate in the running category of the Olympics? Because he had no legs, he was referred to the Special Olympics, instead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I have no idea but I don't see why it would want to cross a road in the first place. It is a chicken.

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Whats the difference between a Bicycle and a duck? They Both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk, idiot.

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whats worse than being raped by a giant scorpion getting raped by 2 giant scorpions

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he is concerned about his fitness and decided to walk to work instead of drive.

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what do you call a kid with no arms and legs under a bus an ambulance, he's obviously in pain

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There once was a man from Madrass Whose balls were made out of brass This was incredibly uncomfortable and embarrassing for him. It also affected his sexual potency and rendered him infertile, Which drastically affected his ability to enter and sustain relationships with women.

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What do you call a women with 2 black eyes? Hopefully nothing because abuse is something that shouldn't be messed with and it is wrong.

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Q: Why didn't the dirty man jump into the shower? A: Because he spotted the potential danger to jump into a slippery shower and proceeded with caution.

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ass.

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Q: What did the tree say as he fell? A: Studies have shown plants in general do not have a voice box, thus making plants incapable of speaking.

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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What's worse than getting a fly stuck up your nose? Been alone in a hospital room with Jimmy Saville.

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So everything, the chat we had before was all you know, a game so I would call you? I am not sleepy but I can wait until you can confirm everything.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Evicted.

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You know, people are kind of like trees, they tend to fall over when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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"why did the cheese not go to church on sunday" "because it was jewish"

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Q: What kind of bees make milk? A: None. Bees make honey, not milk.

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What happened to the little boys house? It burned down. How did the boy die? In the fire.

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Asians.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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