Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

aa

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you get 100 Jews in a car? It is physically impossible to fit 100 full grown homosapians into a vehicle, therefore it will not work.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you tell if an elephant has been in your refrigerator? You find someone you trust and say "an elephant has been in my refrigerator".

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Quantum Mechanics is so difficult to understand, somewhere Stephen Hawking just walked into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How tall is oprah.. 5'7

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Vacuum, purple, zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Two blondes walk into a bar. You'd have thought one of them would have seen it.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

ok everybody to make this more simple we all have to line up alphabetically by height.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: What do a dollar bill and a kite have in common A: I dont know

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the people say to each other when they ate the orange? Orange you glad I didn't eat you:) HAHAHAA orange you glad that I am good at telling jokes!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

There is a blonde, a redhead, and a brunnette stuck on a deserted island. the redhead gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk the 100 miles back to shore. she begins swimming, gets 10 miles out, gets tired, and drowns. the brunnette gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk it too. she gets 50 miles, gets tired, and drowns. The blonde decides to escape as well. she is able to swim 98 miles, gets tired, and swims back.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

"The Civil War wasn't won in a day, it was won in a lifetime." -Marc Cruz

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's as red as a Lobster? A Lobster

thumb_up thumb_down +17

whats the difference between and clorox wipe and a paper towel? a clorox wipe is wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: What did the chicken cross the road? A: "Why did the chicken cross the road?" is a common riddle or joke in several languages. The answer or punchline is: "To get to the other side." The riddle is an example of anti-humor, in that the curious setup of the joke leads the listener to expect a traditional punchline, but they are instead given a simple statement of fact. "Why did the chicken cross the road?" has become largely iconic as an exemplary generic joke to which most people know the answer, and has been repeated and changed numerous times.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Facebook How i met my mother

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the man who brutally raped and murdered his infant daughter say? He didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

I like it, I like it becuase it is cream

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A dog got into a gingerbread house. She ate some and brought some to the basement it got on the couch!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the Muslim do when he got on the bus? He realized he was in the wrong place and got on a plane and blew it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the Dragonfly say to the Mosquito? Nothing. He ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are red Violets are actually the color violet, contrary to popular belief.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops