What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle

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What do you call 10 Asians playing basketball? A group of friends hanging out and having a good time.

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Pizza guy. Just a minute, I have to grab my wallet.

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Why can't Helen Keller conduct a Train. Because she is dead.

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Rose: Mummy, why did you name me Rose? Mother: Because a rose fell on your head when you were a baby Daisy: Mummy, why did you name me Daisy? Mother: Because a daisy fell on you when you were a baby Fridge: durr hurr Mother: Shut up, Fridge

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? Because she was hungry.

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-Look! Up in the sky! -It's a bird! -Yep.

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Some anti-jokes are funny, some are not!

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Q. what's red and smells like blue paint A. a dead baby in a trash can beside a foster home

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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Why can't Helen Keller have sex? She is dead

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What did the hedgehog say to the beaver? Nothing, they can't talk.

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Get off my porch.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was a really creepy movie

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What do cows in Africa say? Moo

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You’re so dumb that many individuals find your intelligence inferior.

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What did Sam Houston Say to Jim Bowie when he say all the Mexicans coming Towards the Alamo? That's a lot of Mexicans.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

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Why didn't the man get to see his family on Christmas? He was blind.

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Roses are red Violets are blue, I am sorry... But you have terminal cancer and are probably going to die in about 3 months

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Whats worse than pulling down a girls pants and seeing a giant furry bush... finding out her vagina has teeth in it.

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Why didnt the homeless man eat the cheese? Because he died right before he ate it. :-(

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, come at me again and I'll punch you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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