Whats the difference between a lemon and an ant? They're both yellow except for the lemon.

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one day ill be as old as you but you'll be older then too.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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What has two legs and bleeds between them? The back half of a dog with a deep cut in its belly.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a structure used to support sitting people, the other is a human being native to Mexico.

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When life gives you melons. You're not dyslexic because you can probably tell the difference between a lemon and melon because they look so different.

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why cant ben cry, because i gorged his eyes out with a popsickle stick.....

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy This song doesn't rhyme PENIS

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Why did the father smash his sons head into the dentist's building? Because he had a locker in his mouth. Also, equestrian.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Black people are black They are inferior

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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You're flying above the Kansas Ocean, you lose your brakes and have to paddle all the way to shore. How many dogs can you fit on a carousel? Blue, because Ice Cream is cold.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends. How hard can you throw?

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What's the time when black men take over? Poor past never.

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A man walks into a bar. He has a serious drinking problem and is destroying his life.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is theoretically impossible to read another's inner thought process, but it was probably due to the electric stimulation from the brain to give the chicken's muscles the ability to move.

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When life throws you lemons, duck cuz they freakin' hurt

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What's under there? I'm not falling for that one...

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How do you keep a black man inside? Shoot his leg.

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What do you call cheese that isn't your's Well it would depend on what type of cheese it actually is

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How do you tell if a black man is ok? Poke it with a very long pole and keep your distance...

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What's worse than being a replacement? An insufficient replacement.

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"Ask me a question." "No" "Cheese" ... "What?"

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Why did the nerd cross the road?? BAZINGA!!!! xD

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops