A father and son get into a car crash. They go to the hospital and both the father and son are unconsciuos. The doctor comes in to the son's room and says, "I can't operate on this boy, he is my son. How could this happen if the dad is knocked out? It was a gay couple.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the mountains? A: Bear food.

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Jesus, Mohammed, and Moses walk into a bar and sit down at a table. They glare at each other for a moment before turning to watch the baseball game. They support opposing teams.

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Why did jimmy cross the road? Because that was the direction the cannon was pointing.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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What did the clinically depressed man get for Christmas? He received many of splendid gifts and a joyous day with his family. He realized that his life isn't so bad after all, and went home with his head held high. He was then eaten by a vicious looking 7.

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what did the dog say to the cat? give me back my dog food.

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#IHateHashtags

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pudding

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I walked into my sister's room and slipped on a bra..........it was a boobie trap

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Why did the banana explode? Because it was a grenade!

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baskets

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what do ninjas and gay people have in common... if you eat them they will no longer be alive

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What's three times as dangerous than a war? Three wars.

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I was lying in bed looking at the stars in the sky What did i think to myself? Were the heck is the ceiling???

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Adam Turkolowoskiaklfadjufsdjksbgsgsafafdsg

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How do you make a girl scout cry? Steal her cookies

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like pie. I know you do too.

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Why did the Elf stab the Gnome? Because I was on a bad acid trip.

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whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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Why did captain hook die? He wiped asss

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One girl said to her friends, "LOL guys wait for me." She ran to a pile of corpses. The girl was about to lose her sanity as she was in denial when her friends had died. She held hands of two of the corpses and smiled and pretended everything was ok.

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What Is big, round, and looks like gaben. Gaben!

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Q:What did the homeless guy say to the business man on the cell phone A: Nothing because he doesn't want to disturb his phone call

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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