Q)What is the best way to get the bitches? A) You shouldn't try. You could go to prison on bestiality charges.

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How do you say the weekend in French? The weekend in French.

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What is intangible and has every color on the rainbow? A rainbow.

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A catholic priest gets a nun pregnant. He drowns the baby several months later.

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how many dead guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? 6

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what do you call a kid with no arms and legs under a bus an ambulance, he's obviously in pain

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How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

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What is funnier than a dead baby? almost everything. there is nothing funny about a dead baby.

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What does Santa Claus keep in his gardening shed? Nothing. Santa Claus isn't real.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I can't really remember the reason, it was about 5 years ago and a lot of things have happened since.

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Person 1: 'Ask me if I'm a tree' Person 2: 'Are you a tree?' Person 1: 'No.'

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Q: Why couldn't the man get laid? A: Women were afraid of his 7 testes and 4 penises.

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What's the only thing more horrible than trash can full of dead babies? A live one at the bottom. What's more horrible than that? He has to eat his way out. What's more horrible than that? He goes back for more. What's more horrible than that? This all took place in my garage while I was watching.

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whats the one about not giving a crap? oh yea this one

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a kid plays computer games alot and gets carpoltunel in both hands and lives in pain for the rest of his life.

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I'm a white rapper I do it all the time Folks don't like me cuz my words don't match

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How did the chicken know where he was going? He had a map.

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? Dance Dance Revolution

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Q: What kind of bees make milk? A: None. Bees make honey, not milk.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a piece of toast.

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Jesus can walko water Humans are 70% water I can walk on humans Therefore i am 70% Jesus

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men, men like men= men+bed

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Q: What's your dog's name ? A: Dog. Q: What's your cat's name ? A: Cat. Q: What's your dick's name A: Pinky

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Why couldn't the black man participate in the running category of the Olympics? Because he had no legs, he was referred to the Special Olympics, instead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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