what did the tomato say when he was cut open? nothing, because vegetables are unable to speak

What's five miles long and has an IQ of 40? A democrat parade.

What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

Why does Santa Clause say Ho Ho Ho? He has Tuberculosis.

Why did the hipster burn his tongue? The tea he was drinking was at an unsuitable temperature for consumption resulting in the scalding of his mouth.

What Do You Call A Fake Noodle? ----An Impastaaa!!!!!

non poop

What was the energizer bunny arrested for? Rape.

Want to hear a joke? Unequal rights.

whats the difference between a turkey and a baby i dont know how to cook a turkey

What's the difference between 9/11 and Jenga? The World Trade Center wasn't ruined by clumsiness.

Michel Moor on a die...

a blond and a brunet jump of a bridge who hits the ground first ....... the brunet because the blond has to ask for directions

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

What is Lady Gaga's real name? Who the crap knows?

What is blue and on the bottom of the pool. A drowned baby

What mother loved her son so much, she gave him a scar on his forehead for it? Lily Potter.

knock knock Who's there? The Police! Your under arrest.

why were the African, Asian and Mexican men thrown out of the bar the barman was a racist

why are marcos hands all swetty. he just got done giving a hand job to joe.

What did the fan of Justin Beiber say? Nothing there are no fans.

What do your mum and dad have in common Not much your dads dead

ive got nothing funny to say, so this is what its like to be a woman

What do a purple grape and an elephant have in common? They are both purple, except for the elephant.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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