A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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Q:So there's a black guy and a mexican sitting in a car...who's driving? A: The Cop

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Q: Why does a zebra have stripes? A: Because Sarah Jessica Parker is a horse.

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Q: What's the difference between a Boyscout and a Jew? A: Boyscouts come home from camp.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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How do you kill a shark blindfolded? You untie the blindfold.

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If a black person gets a tan, what do you get? A burned black sausage.

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Q: what is white and can't climb trees? A: A refrigerator

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why didn't the vampire go to the Garlic festival? Because it sucks.

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Extra extra read all about it dunkin donuts has now been named dunkin pigs..a cops favorite hang out.

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Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. Faces like yours belong in the Zoo. Don't be mad I will be there too. Not in the gate but laughing at you.

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Why did the old man get wet even though he was using an umbrella? Because it didn't save from falling off the bridge.

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What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock-eater.

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What has eyes but can't see? Helen Keller. What has ears but can't hear? A field of corn.

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

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im in stttttttttiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttttttccccccccccccchhhhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssss

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Your mom is so fat that I worry she may develop diabetes.

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People say that shit don't stink But shit does stink It stinks like shit!

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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I went to the doctor and explained to him, "My penis fell off." The doctor gives me an odd look, and then chops his off to make me feel better.

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A. Why did the chicken cross the road? B. Why? A. To get to the other side. A. Knock, Knock. B. Who's there? A. The chicken.

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Cleavlin has a shmaaala dik

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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