A Jew, a Catholic, and a Muslim walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What'll you have?" The Jew says, "I'll have a whiskey straight." The Catholic says, "I'll have a vodka tonic." The Muslim says, "I can't drink it's against my religion and I really shouldn't be here."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock Knock Who's there? Jim Come on in!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats worse than finding a repeated joke on anti-joke? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the man not come out of the closet? He wanted to stay in narnia.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

WHO WANTS SOW????

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you say to a black man with a gun? Don't shoot me.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

"Free to play" Play free "right now" "Free forever"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Your mom is so fat... That you inherited type one diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q. why did the skeleton crosse the rood. A. he didin`t becas he had no guts

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Does an Anti-Joke need to have an ironic punch line? ...

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Pull my finger. Not right now. I'm watching The Price is Right.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? Jews are people

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He was shot. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He was mentally disturbed. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure

thumb_up thumb_down +16

So there's this one Cheerio who really likes this frosted Cheerio. He walks up to her one day and asks her out. She responded, "no I only date frosted Cheerios." The Cheerio then went and got a tutor, he became very, very smart and turned into a multi-grain Cheerio. He goes up to the frosted Cheerio and asks her out. "no, you're still not a frosted Cheerio." he gets a gym membership and works really, really hard and becomes and apple cinnamon Cheerio. He asks her out again, "no you're still not a frosted Cheerio." so he goes to church too and becomes a honey nut Cheerio. "no you're still not a frosted Cheerio." he focuses and tries even harder than ever before and finally becomes a frosted Cheerio. He asks her out, "will you be my girlfriend? I heard about this party this weekend we can go to." she answers, "I'll be your girlfriend, let's go to that party." So, they go to this party. The boy asks. "do you want anything to drink?" the girl says "sure maybe some wine." the boy en goes to the wine store. There's a super long line and he waits and waits but goes back to the party. He tells her and asks her if she wants anything else. "some soda maybe." he goes to the soda shop and there's another long line and he waits until he can't take it and goes back again. He tells h and asks her if she wants anything else. "some punch please." He goes to the punch store, and there's no punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A: Knock Knock (waits for an answer) oh there's no one in.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What starts with F and ends with UCK? Firetruck What starts with P and ends with ORN? Popcorn What starts with B and ends with ITCH? Bewitch

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic And so am I

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What are the two sexiest farm animals? Consider that we are humans we shouldn't find any sex appeal in animals but if i had to guess I would say Brown Chicka Brown Cow

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A blonde walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What're you drinking?" The blonde says, "Nothing yet. That's why I'm in a bar. But your lack of basic observation skills is disturbing."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

My friends a Jehovahs Witness. He got all pissed at me because he tried to tell me a knock knock joke and I ignored him.......i totally stole this joke lol.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops