Why did the cashier let the jockey off 10 cents? because he was short 10 cents

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why is the alien dead as a door-nail? Because the door-nail was never alive nor could it ever be dead therefore the alien must have never existed just like the life and death of the door-nail.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why was 6 afraid of seven? cause 7's a n i g g a

thumb_up thumb_down +1

This statement is false.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by Osama.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

There once was a man from Nantucket. He's dead now.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a black pope? Catholic.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Potato!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a man without any money? Broke.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man with Down's Syndrome walks into bar. Bartender asks, "why the long face?"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A Jew and a German walk into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad that this joke took your mind off your terminal cancer?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red Violets are blue Cats meow Dogs have four legs

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the black man go to prison? He was visiting his client to give him legal advice.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you have problems paying your monthly mortgage if you live in a box emmanuel

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A guy walks into a bar and hears a someone crying. He asks the bartender who is crying and the bartender says "It's my goat. He's been crying since Tuesday, I'm giving a $500 reward to whoever can make him stop." So the man walks to the back and whispers something to the goat's ear and suddenly the goat starts laughing. The bartender was so amazed at what happened and says "Wow, thank you kind sir! Here's your reward money." and the man takes the money and leaves. The next day the man returns to the bar and the bartender says "Hey, ever since you made my goat laugh he hasn't stopped. He's been driving me nuts. I'll give you another $500 to make him stop." So again, the man goes to the back of the bar and whispers to the the goats ear. Suddenly, the goat start crying again. The bartender can't believe it. He asks "How in the world did you do that? What did you say to my goat?" The man says "Well the first time I saw your goat I told him a joke." "Okay, that explains why he kept laughing..." the bartender asks "Now, what did you say to make him cry?" The man replies "I told him..." Suddenly the goat escapes and goes completely crazy and kills everybody in the bar with his horns. Till this day no one knows what the man said to the goat.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do Yankees fans cheer for their favorite sports team? Let's go Yankees!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the boy not answer his mums call? because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why do women live longer? Once they're sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead. Q: Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? A: Because it was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are Roses Violets are Violets I am to Literal, That is a statement.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops