One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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what starts with F and ends with ead? Fred was walking to school one day when he heard a strange noise in a tree. He walked up to the tree, looked up, and saw a cat. Fred was late for class, so he decided to go to school and help the cat out after school. Eight hours later, Fred came up to the tree and looked up to see if the cat was there. It wasn't. The cat was lying next to the tree, dead.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Two Guys Walk into a bar, you would think one of them would've seen it

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What did the dog do in the phone booth? Nothing, as dog do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grip objects. The previous user must have left the door open and the dog walked in, only to leave a few moments later.

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your brother so fine that hes skinney

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A: Knock Knock B: Whos there A: Orange B: Orange who A: Arent you glad i didnt say chair

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A black man, an arabic man, and a hispanic man are all in a car, who is driving? The black man.

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What do you get when an elephant and a pig have baby? Nothing, mating between animals must take place between animals of the same species, thus making it impossible to cross these two animals

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why did jonathan not get any presents for the holiday?because it was the 4th of July

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(This poem is written by a dog) Roses are gray Violets are a different shade of gray Let's go chase cars

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on a deserted island when they come across a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the lamp and a genie appears! The genie offers them each a wish. They all make their wishes, but none of them come true as the genie was simply a hallucination brought on by severe trauma and dehydration.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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You know what me and Bill Cosby have in common? Katie..

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A man walked into a bar. He got a head trauma and committed suicide.

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A blind man jumped out of the way as a car ran through the red light at a one way street.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will cause me to develop a drinking problem.

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a young boy with no arms or legs log rolls himself outside where he gets struck by lightning

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penis haha

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What's the difference between an onion and a baby ? You cry when you cut the onion.

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knock knock who's there aids aids who ... dumb ass

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Why did the young teenager cut class? To cut himself! Get it?! Its a pun!

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How many pancakes does it take to build a doghouse? Pancakes are not a feasible material with which to build a doghouse.

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Q: What do the Gynecologist and the pizza delivery man have in common? A: They both get to smell the goods but neither one of them can eat it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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