How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What did one muslim say to the other muslim? Nothing, muslims are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

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What do you call a horse with wings and a horn on his head? Drunk

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I'd like to make this joke funnier but I can't. It's stupid. I don't even like it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt, it was hit by a car

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Your mother is so fat that she's more prone to cardiovascular disease than other people who stick to the proper BMI or body mass index

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Q: What would happen if you didn't sleep all night? A: You would probably be really tired and start seeing things and speaking strange sentences as a result.

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Knock knock, COME IN!

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Why did the little and energetic girl fall down? Because I snapped her neck.

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Whats worse than a bullet in the head? i have no idea, i have never been shot in the head so i'm not sure what to compare it to.

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a boy scout wipes his butt with a dollar cause he had no toilet paper then the other boy scout hears him screaming they meet up later and the other boy scout askes why he was scream and the first boy scout says that is hard to wip your butt with 4 quarters.

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What did the pineapple say to the apple? Nothing, neither can speak.

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A man walked into a bar. He was only 19, but technically a man. Underage drinking is not O.K.

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Gun laws don't work because criminals don't pay attention to the laws

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Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

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Looking's for free... Touching's for free.

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What's wheels and has green? Lied, I grassed about the wheels.

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What happens when an alien goes out in the rain It gets wet

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Why did the blond wreak her car? She stayed up a very long time studying for her mid-term exam, And therefore, was not as attentive to the flow of traffic.

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What happened when the ugly girl asked her crush out on a date? He said yes. He found her personality quite attractive

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How do you confuse a gay person? How? 7

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

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who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Osama Bin Laden

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Q:what is long ,black and red but smells like poo.? A:poo from someone dying of bowel cancer.!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops