what the difference between matthew and a retard? The retard can do math

One night I went to this pub, they had a big jar full of $10 notes in top of the bar. I asked the bar tender what was that jar for and he told me that they have a donkey around back and if you make it laugh you win the jar. So i went around the back and i come back around 5 mins later and the donkey was laughing its head off. So i grabbed the jar and told the boys lets hit the clubs.Two weeks later i went to the same pub and they had another jar with $10 notesso i asked the bar tender what that jar was for and he goes to me "that donkey has been laughing ever since you left, now we want the donkey to cry" So I asked for a go and went around the back and when i come back the donkey was crying. as i went to go grab my jar but the bar tender stops and asks me how i did it. the first time i came i told the donkey i had a bigger dick then him.. the 2nd time i showed him.

whats it called when you see a ton of white people running down a hill.... an avalanch whats it called when you see a ton of black people running down a hill.....a mud slide whats it called when you see a ton of mexicans running down a hill............ a jail break

what do you call dominic rolling down a hill?

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Why was the woman bald? She was a Britney spears fan.

Why do rabbits have such a reputation for rampant reproduction? Sex feels extra good for rabbits.

This is like another one: Terry is at work eating a cookie.. He drops his cookie. His co worker trys to pick it up, however he accidently stands on it. Turns out terry can keep a grudge, nine years later, he killed his co worker with a shovel.

Q: What do you call a guy that is smart? A: A SMART Guy.

There were three brothers. Big, Harry and Dick. They were walking along the road and were all instantly killed by a drunk driver. Their names were never mentioned and their story was used as a promotion for the seriousness of drunk driving and should not be taken lightly.

What do Bruce Lee and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both dead

What came first... the chicken or the egg? How am I supposed to know?

How much does a polar bear weigh? About 800 pounds

I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

Why did little Billy not eat all his carrots? He does not care about his vision.

What happens, when you give a blonde a Computer? She uses it like any other person because her haircolor has nothing to do with her Intelligence

whats the difference between ur mom and my mom? nothing i slept with both of them

If Miley Cyrus has the ability to come in like a wrecking ball, how come she can't twerk?

What's black and can't speak? A garbage can.

what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

Why did the man's motorcycle not move when the street light turned green? Because it was a filing cabinet.

what gets louder as it gets smaller? a baby in a trash compacter.

Knock knock Who's There? Me I kill you again HA HA HA

What do you tell your friend who has been cheating on his wife? You're a terrible human being, and she deserves better!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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