Roses are red Violets are blue Black people are black They are inferior

why does jake have so many guns? hes compensating

You want to know how I got these scars? A horrible knife throwing accident.

roses are red violets are blue i done you mom a favor by making you...banana and rice don't worry it'll taste just nice

An under aged man walks into a bar. the bar tender forgets to ask for his ID and gives him a beer. That man was later fired.

What's worse than farting in a silent class room? Denying it and farting a second time.

on a scale from a banana to a pound coin - how much do you like the works of antonio vivaldi?

What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it's a grape and therefore unable to speak.

Where did the people go after the bomb went off? EVERYWHERE!!!

Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.

Hey, Max!!

Carol never wore her safety goggles. Neither did Hellen Keller.

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Well, you should, if only for the cultural experience.

Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

Why did the man order a mail order Asian bride? Because he was caucasian which meant females of his race had unrealistically high expectations of a partner due to various materialistic overtones that are constantly portrayed in their medie creating a society of over entitled women who think they are owed the earth.

A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive a car? Because she was a woman.

How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? ...get back in the kitchen, I'm hungry

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas A bike.

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Hearing this joke again.

What did the cat say to the cat? Miau

In this case, its black operations, but simply in the term that its a well secret something, its not a lets say, organization that breaks the law, kidnaps listens to phones uses wires, which the FBI does. And when I mean I am a employee, I might have spoken a bit over my head here (sorry, lightheaded), you could well, simply put, I am something between a delivery boy and a mercenary, not the kind that shoots and kills (my shape sucks anyways), but rather the kind that "facilitates" communications between organizations... Thats all I can say without breaking laws that technically do not exist.

What's the difference between an X-box and Michael Jackson? One is an inanimate object and the other is a human being.

Why did the man get fired from his Job? The boss became his ex girlfriend 2 minutes ago

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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