A plane crashes in the wilderness on the border of Canada and the U.S. Where do they bury the survivors? I lied. There were none.

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What did the president do for the people? ...

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What's worst than realizing your mom is actually a transvestite? Simultaneously realizing this means you are adopted

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What did your mother say after I beat her? Nothing, because she was dead.

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What do a purple grape and an elephant have in common? They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

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i love to lick...

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What's worse than stapling a baby to a tree? Stapling the same baby to ten trees.

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Why did Lucy fall out of the tree? Because she sting by a wasp.

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so david walks into a convenience store and wanted to buy a pack of gum. so he asks the cashier how much is the gum and the cashier said that it is 99 cents and then david said oh no! i thought it was 98 cents.

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the world is made out of 4 things. protons, neutrons, electrons, and morons

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Q: What happens when you sit in the middle of the road? A: You get hit by a car and die a horrible death as your family members mourn in the loss and remain sad forever.

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Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11

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John has 58 candy bars. He eats 40, what does John have? Diabetes, John has Diabetes.

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The blond sold her her car for gass money and then when to a car dealer and asked for a free car if she got drunk for him the car dealer said yes only if i can do what i want with you the blond said what do u want to do to me he said i want to throw u off a cilff the blond said ok

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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Wright flyer

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What do you call a man with no head? Nothing he has no ears.

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why was the little girl crying in her dads arms? Because he was strangling her

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What's sad about 2 black men driving off a cliff? They were my friends.....

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My girlfriend dumped me because I'm patronizing. That means I treat people like they're stupid.

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Internet Explorer

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A white man on his way to happens to sit next to a black man the following conversation involves a democrat and a repuplican arguing about obama's current presidentcy and the wallstreet journal the two do not agree on both sujects and part ways...the white man is later brutally murdered in his own house infront of white and children in an unrelated incident. We should all help to stop violence in our local nieghborhoods.

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An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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