There was once a man named Larry. Larry was an office worker for a paper company. One day when Larry was counting papers he got a papercut on his left hand. Therefore his finger began to bleed as he sat in agony. What did Larry do next? He got up and got a band-aid. Larry continued his paper work at his desk.

What do you call a women with 2 black eyes? Hopefully nothing because abuse is something that shouldn't be messed with and it is wrong.

Q: What's so special about my Ferrari? A: It was painted with babies

No really, try this: You: Say "knock, knock" Your friend: OK, knock knock You: Who's there? Your friend: ...... [this awkward pause makes evident the fact that it has now dawned on your friend that he has to generate content for a joke that he wasn't telling in the first place]

If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

Q: Why couldn't the man get laid? A: Women were afraid of his 7 testes and 4 penises.

Whay is jerry so bad at parallel parking? He just got a sex change yesterday.

What's the safest way to tell a racist joke? Ask everybody who might hear the joke if they would be offended by a racist joke.

Why couldn't the duck fly? It died.

What do gay cows eat? Grass.

my hand is a DOLPHIN!

Asians.

What did the chair say when someone sat on it? Nothing. The person's butt covered the chair's mouth.

"why did the cheese not go to church on sunday" "because it was jewish"

when life randomly gives u lemons, u should probably have a stand cuz people are gonna expect u to make lemonade

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has an abusive farmer and needs to get away before it gets any worse.

What is the difference between Chuck Norris and a frog one wears pants and the Chuck Norris doesn't.

Knock knock Whos there? Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior jesus christ?

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being raped by your uncle

"I see," said the deaf man, to the blind man, who had no ears.

Knock Knock! Who's there? Delivery for a Mr. Peerson? Oh yes, that's me. Thank you.

There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a well respected member of the community.

what happened to the 4 year old girl who got stuck in the freezer? She froze.

im gunna build a lego house what shud i make it out of

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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