Cornelius went to the dcotor and got a sticker and a lollipop for being a good patient. He later went home and shoved the lollipop stick up his dick hole and started wildly masturbating. I forgot to mention Cornelius was 42 years old.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

knock knock ? Who's there ? idunnop idunnop who ? Eww you've done a what?!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

why did the monkey fall dead out of the tree? because edward cullen raped it up the arse sooo many times it died from internal bleeding.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A catholic priest gets a nun pregnant. He drowns the baby several months later.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did Jimmy miss a question on his test? He put D

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How many dead babies can you fit in my car? None, I don't allow anyone to put dead babies in my car.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A man violently rapes a small child. Unfortunately the child has aids and gives them to the man.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why is cancer a big thing? -It has grown after the diagnoses

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk, idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's black, white, and red all over A penguin in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why was little Bobby Smith crying on Christmas day? Because the doctor diagnosed him with terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Whats the difference between a crucifixion and a circumcision? In crucifixion you throw out the whole Jew.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Obviously not Bob, Idiot What did Bob get for christmas? A glove Actually, I lie. He hasn't unboxed it yet.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why was 9 afraid of 10 because 10 was a registered sex offender

thumb_up thumb_down +22

i just got all five seasons of big bang theory in the mail for xmas... i'm divorcing my wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a gay man? Homosexual

thumb_up thumb_down +22

you know what's worse than being grounded? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the blind man have a poo Because he needed one.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

My dog got out of it's cage. So I found it and be the shit out of

thumb_up thumb_down +22

you are getting chased by a lion, a tiger, and a zebra. What do you do???? Get off the Merry-go-round.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why didn't Timmy have a girlfriend ??? Because he's a Fruit bowl !

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the racecar driver lose his driver's license? He crashed into an orphanage.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the little girl go to the hospital?........................Beacuse she fell when trying to steal cookies out of the cookie jar on top of the fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: What's so special about my Ferrari? A: It was painted with babies

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops