Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? I'm not sure, he could not unwrap them.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are roses Violets are violets Sugar is sugar And you're a person

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why did the chicken cross the road? who cares?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A black guy walks into a KKK meeting. He is burnt on a cross outside his families house. They will mourn his death for years to come

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was the little boy late for school? Because he was hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

"why did the cheese not go to church on sunday" "because it was jewish"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A black man wearing a belt. Oh, he has a shoelace!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Josh Moran sticks polish sausage up his ear and moves it back and forth while squeezing his balls until they rupture.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q:what is a wheelchairs biggest fear A: steps

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q. why did the skeleton crosse the rood. A. he didin`t becas he had no guts

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's a foot long and slippery, a slipper

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats worse then Justin Bieber? It's a trick question, there's is nothing worse than her

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what if i told you that leonardo decaprio didnt need an oscar but an oscar needed a leonardo decaprio!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(_)_)=============D

thumb_up thumb_down +16

woman..parallel parking

thumb_up thumb_down +16

a black man and a white man walk into a job interview. neither of them get the job due to lack of skill in the field.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Want to hear a joke? Me too.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What'd the black woman say when she met her husband's white mistress? Hello, nice to meet you.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the sheep say to the Commonwealth Committee on September 11 2001? Baabaaabaaaahhh

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man walks into a bar. There were no survivors.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was a black man in a prison cell? He was a highly respected plumber fixing a prisoner's faulty toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the homeless guy say to the not-homeless guy? I'm homeless.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what's orange, round, that like to play and kill poeple and not in a video game? a) a freaking orange b) a super ball c) a dog painted in orange d) samus aran e) none of the previous answer

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops