Patient: "So what seems to be the problem doc? Doctor: "I'm afraid you have AIDS. I'm sorry."

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what did the blind, deaf, retarded child, without any arms or legs get for Christmas? nothing, his parents are dead

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A turtle and a rabbit are having a race. The rabbit goes really fast and sees the turtle so far away. So the rabbit takes a short nap and waits for the turtle for a little challenge. Suddenly the rabbit wakes up and sees the turtle about to cross the finish line. The rabbit runs as fast as he can, but it was too late. A bus runs them over and they both die.

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"My dog doesn't have a nose" "How does it smell?" "It can't. It bled to death."

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What do cows in Africa say? Moo

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What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? Names.

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Who is worse then Charlie Sheen? Hitler.

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Three men are sitting in a tub. One of them says "Toss me the soap." The second one says "Toss me the shampoo." The third one says "Toss me the toaster."

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Why don't midgets live in penthouses? They can't reach the button in the elevator.

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Whats invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts

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Hey, Batman Yeah? Knock Knock Who's there? Not your parents!

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Why did the bus driver lose his family in a car accident? Bc the little boy was seeking revenge

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You know why the economy is so bad? Years of giving into corporations instead of local business. This moves the profits to the owner of the company instead of mom and pop who will be giving it back to the local community.

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What is intangible and has every color on the rainbow? A rainbow.

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A black guy and a white guy are in a drug store. Who buys the drugs? The customers.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? Almost everything. Infant mortality rates are incrediby high in many third world countries, and it is certainly no laughing matter.

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My computer crashed today I was watching porn.

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what du u call a aplle raisni in the hotr sun? graep duahahahahahahejejejejejejahahahejejejwyan

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what do you get when you give an eevee a french stone? Napoleon!!!

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

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knock knock who's there... you you who who the fuck are you

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Doctor Doctor i've got wind can you give me something? Thats not wind the doctor replies thats a rare form of stomach cancer.

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What is a mean thing to say to Stephen Hawking? Please take a seat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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