ring ring,Who is? you'r face.you'r face how?you'r but hole face.

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A man named Carl walks into a bar and sees another man named Ed who has purple skin and is holding a chinchilla in one hand and a policeman's helmet in the other. Carl approaches Ed and asks, "Why is your skin purple and why are you holding a chinchilla in one hand and a policeman's helmet in the other?" Ed replies stating, "Well its actually a pretty funny story. I was sailing near cape cod and a saw a large whale jump out of the water, and that gave me a really good idea. So I sailed home immediately and wrote a very detailed novel about my days in Vietnam. The book was a success and I was able to make a large amount of money. However, unfortunately I became addicted to cocaine and wasted all of my money and had to live on the streets. Since then, I have cleaned up my act and am working again and have a house. I decided to treat myself to a night out and so I came here and painted myself purple. Then, I found this chinchilla and policeman's helmet on the floor and decided to hold onto it until I find the owner. Now that I think about it, that story isn't very funny. I apologize." Carl then accepted the apology and the two had a drink together and are still good friends today.

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A Muslim, a Buddhist, and a Christian are on a plain. They have to jump off for some reason. The Muslim straps a bomb to his chest, jumps out of the plain, and screams "AHLA AKBAH"!!!! The Buddhist jumps out and says save me heavenly Buddha. A giant golden hand catches him and lightly places him on land. The Christian says "aw hell with this" and jumps out, then says "save me heavenly Buddha". The giant golden hand places him down gently on land. The Christian then says "thank god". The giant golden hand comes back down and kills him.

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What's worse than getting tripped? Getting shot.

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A Man Walks into a Bar with a Dog. He is blind, and is promptly guided to his seat by other patrons.

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There's a skunk and a lawyer standing on the side of the road, what's the difference? There are tire marks infront of the skunk.

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A spaceship enters a black hole. A spaceship enters a black hole. A spaceship enters a black hole.

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Why will this joke be the most hated? Because it sucks

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what sucks blows and gets laid in the closet. YOUR MOM VACUMING

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How did Debbie get a black eye? Because her dad asked her to take off her pants and she refused so he beat her

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he f**king felt like it!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it's drivers license had been revoked for all of it's DWI's.

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Gay jokes arn't funny. "Come" on guys.

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What's black and has a beary taste? A black bear.

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Knock Knock Who's there Doctor Doctor Who

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Where did little Timmy go when the bomb dropped? Everywhere.

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How many blondes can you fit in a car? About 5 if you lift the arm rest.

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how man

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead become stranded on a desert island. As they are searching for food and shelter, they come across a mystical-looking lamp. They rub the lamp, but nothing happens because genies don't exist.

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I have an erection My mom!

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What did the chickens say to the other chicken Go away mother clucker

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Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because the paint used on their faces makes the extra terrestrials leery of lead poisoning.

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What's a fry cook's favorite day? Saturday. It's his day off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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