What happens when you walk around with a kick me sign on your back? you get punched in the face. How are you supposed to know it says kick, you cant see your own back.

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

What did the gay guy say to the other gay guy Want to make out?

you're mommas so fat that her doctor says she is morbitly obese and may die of a heart failure later in life

What do you say to a black guy who is holding a gun to your head? Nothing. He is holding a gun to your head.

What did batman say to robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

A man walks into a bar. Wait, no, it was a horse. A man walks into a horse

What's the difference between a black man and a gorilla? One is a black man and the other is a gorilla.

Knock, Knock Who's there? Betty. Answer the door!

why is coltin alexander such a duche? because no one loves him

Why couldn't the Joker browse the internet? He was using Compuserve.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by Shrek

Hey, you wanna hear a joke? The holocaust.

What's the best time to go to the dentist? Whenever your appointment is scheduled.

Penis.

Two blondes and a brunnett walk into a bar. Remarkably, there was nothing else notable about any of them.

Q-What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? A-Where's my tractor?

why did the chicken cross the road? cause kade touches himself at night

How did the Jew escape the concentration camp? He didn't he was caught and put in the gas chamber.

Why is Timmy a dumbass ? He's not, because asses cannot, by definition, be intelligent, so it is unnecessary to qualify it as "dumb".

What is the longest sentence that a man knows? If it is used it in context, isn't round and the speaker attempts to quote the whole number - or at least all of it known to date, then any sentence involving the value of pi.

Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. I slipped you a roofie, get ready for me.

So a horse walks into a bar... I forget the rest of the joke but you're mom is a whore..

That awkward moment when sentences don't end the way you octopus.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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