Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

What is wet, white and sticky? Glue, of course.

One night I went to this pub, they had a big jar full of $10 notes in top of the bar. I asked the bar tender what was that jar for and he told me that they have a donkey around back and if you make it laugh you win the jar. So i went around the back and i come back around 5 mins later and the donkey was laughing its head off. So i grabbed the jar and told the boys lets hit the clubs.Two weeks later i went to the same pub and they had another jar with $10 notesso i asked the bar tender what that jar was for and he goes to me "that donkey has been laughing ever since you left, now we want the donkey to cry" So I asked for a go and went around the back and when i come back the donkey was crying. as i went to go grab my jar but the bar tender stops and asks me how i did it. the first time i came i told the donkey i had a bigger dick then him.. the 2nd time i showed him.

What do Bruce Lee and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both dead

Q: What do you call a guy that is smart? A: A SMART Guy.

There were three brothers. Big, Harry and Dick. They were walking along the road and were all instantly killed by a drunk driver. Their names were never mentioned and their story was used as a promotion for the seriousness of drunk driving and should not be taken lightly.

Why do rabbits have such a reputation for rampant reproduction? Sex feels extra good for rabbits.

what do you call dominic rolling down a hill?

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whats it called when you see a ton of white people running down a hill.... an avalanch whats it called when you see a ton of black people running down a hill.....a mud slide whats it called when you see a ton of mexicans running down a hill............ a jail break

This is like another one: Terry is at work eating a cookie.. He drops his cookie. His co worker trys to pick it up, however he accidently stands on it. Turns out terry can keep a grudge, nine years later, he killed his co worker with a shovel.

Why was the woman bald? She was a Britney spears fan.

What did Petunia say to the other Petunia Hi there Petunia

How does Cee Lo Green order extra ketchup? Can I have some more ketchup, please?

How do you make Chuck Norris cry? Kill his family.

What's the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? The boy scout comes home from camp

I once walked into my grandmas house to find her laying face down on the ground. It turns out that everyone was planking but grandma wasn't breathing...

what did the crow say do the dead gazelle? - nothing the crow ate it

Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

What happens if you play CS:GO? Well you loose alot of fucking money.

What does two plus two equal? 4

Cornflakes were an accident, so was Chernobyl

What's black and can't speak? A garbage can.

If Miley Cyrus has the ability to come in like a wrecking ball, how come she can't twerk?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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