Hey "Oren" its Red, sorry but I got to go now. How you been doing? Kinda missed you over here. So you actually care about how you sound now?

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Your momma's so fat that she can't pass through some turnstiles and needs go through some other way with people staring and feel sad about it.

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What are 3 skills black people have that they use for basketball? Great hand eye co-ordination, communication and encouragement.

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If you have me you want to share me, if you share me you no longer have me. What am I? (a secrect)

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What did John's girlfriend get him for their 5 year anniversary? Proactive because his acne bothers her.

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When life gives you ponies... get a new life!

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how do you confuse a blond? put them in a circle room and tell them to sit in the corner

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Girl: That's pretty big. Boy: That's what she said. Woman: Yes, I enjoys large genitals.

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brock has small hands for a small job

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If life gives you lemons, keep them because hey, free lemons

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why was little jonny not playing in the baseball game? his legs were shattered in a terrible lawn mowing accident.

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What colour are blackberries? Purple.

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What's a fat chinaman? A guy who somehow got obese on rice. HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN?!

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what did the dog say to the mailman? woof.

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What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They are both purple except for the rabbit.

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When life gives you lemons, you should be wondering how "life" managed to give you those lemons.

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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You just made me realize something friend, and for that I am grateful, I quit and left the remains of what could have been put together again, I mean if the chance was there, I betrayed both you and myself by leaving a sinking ship. I keep telling myself that our dream has no chance of becoming real in a world where people lack what we consider vision, individuality. Now I realize that by losing faith in humanity accepting their individuality and becoming an author of fiction, I have indeed lost my own belief in a greater world, this of course being reflected upon the fact that I write fiction, rather than speeches and well, what I once considered wisdom. Its just that its lonely at the top, the wiser you become, the more alienated you become from the rest, and if others no longer grasp our concepts of wisdom, strength honor, love and such.. Then I suppose that we just end up lonely, as aliens in a world full of monkeys, until I have begun questioning myself if I am just an arrogant prick, and taken that for an answer. Then it does not matter if you have one follower or a million... ...The sensation of solitude, becomes overwhelming, I guess I have been looking around the world for a definition, rather than following my own heart. Listen, I wont pretend to be you, but I will gladly join you, but if you cannot accept us as equals, I decline. Hey on the brighter side, I always got a "man that likes men" vibe out of you, I suppose I got myself a fan huh? Someone trying to copycat me. Damn, I feel broken, or maybe I just realized how broken I have allowed myself to become, lets say you are not really a woman and where using this in order to break me. Then I gotta say you got me there, and I am not proud of that, I guess that you trying, where I gave up, makes you the better one regardless.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says why the long face? The horse does not reply because it is a horse. He then is confused of where he is and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a couple stools.

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Your family is so fat that when their feet hit the ground, it recorded 9 on the richter scale, because they were launched at the Earth at close to the speed of light, and when you account for relativistic mass effects, the amount of energy that was displaced into the ground was tremendous

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What did the black man say to the asian man? hello.

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Why a polar bear fell over? He drank so much

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What do you call a white hankerchief dipped into the red sea? Wet.

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You might be a redneck if you're from a rural area and behave as such.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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