A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What did the man do when he found a lost dog in his yard? He shot it. This was a very old, lonely, and distressed man with many unresolved problems resulting from his childhood in poverty.

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okay so one time my dog was eating an octopus tail and i was all like...Bro! octopus are our friends dont eat them! then he was all like okay...so later i saw my goldfish eating a blue kangaroo and i was all like bro blue kangaroos are our friends dont eat them and she was all like okay.. so then i saw my sandwich eating itself and i was like bro...let me eat you instead! and it was like okay. then i saw a bear eating you so i was like bro....thats all i said before it ate both of us :( and thats the story of why i have 6 toes on my left buttcheek

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SPONGEBO... nope bin laden

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You were supposed to die 12 seconds ago....

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why was the old man cold? ...WHY?

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why dont you throw rocks at a mexican on a bike? its unethical and can severely hurt the individual on the bike

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A white, black, jewish, and hispanic person apply for a job as an accountant who gets the job? One of them.

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"knock knock?" ITS 2012 WE HAVE DOOR BELLS!!!

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What did the monkey say after its tail was run over by a lawnmower? It won't be long now.

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What is the saddest thing in a porno? He doesn't really love her.

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What do an elephant and a grape have in common? They're both purple... except for the elephant.

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Knock Knock Who's there? no one, you've got Psycosis

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Q: What is the scariest thing ever? A: Child Birth.

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Happy Monday!

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Scrub that muck off at once Hubert Cumberdale!

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Q: Why was jimmy's mom crying? A: Because her doctor said their were going to get rid of he cancer, 5 minutes later hey came back in and told her that he had made a mistake and that was for someone else, she was actually only had a month to live.

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What do you call a donkey on Christmas? a donkey.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a bus.

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What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of Elephants coming over the hill? Oh look, a herd of Elephants coming over the hill.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy mushroom soup in my testicles belly Buton cheese.com ( tickle my. Nipple frog)

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Q.What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A.Finding seventeen worms in your apple.

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What do you call a deer with no eye? NO IDEAR!

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what did Stephen Hawking say to the prositute? nothing, because he has a disability which renders him unable to speak

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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