why didnt Timmy get anything for Christmas?His mom told santa he was very naughty that year

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are lamp, Violets are squirrel, I have ADHD, LET'S DANCE!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" the Eggman and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How many Caucasian American males does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the fat lady order at McDonalds? Nothing because she forgot here wallet at home.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Yo' momma's so black, I hope she didn't experience any racism growing up in school.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Penis

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Jews

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? No. Oh don't worry then.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do black guys say hi to each other? Hi.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A woman walks into a bar. Guys aren't the only ones walking into bars.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock knock? Who's there? Cancer Cancer who? After some time and various bouts of radiation and chemotherapy, he finally lost his life to the terrible disease.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

whats long and hard and full of seamen a penis

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a truck? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

If life throws you lemons, throw them back and ask for some water because lemonade only makes you thirstier due to the large amounts of sugar used.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: what's the difference between a young, geeky kid living in Wisconsin's basketball and Yao Ming's basketball? A: young, geeky kids cannot live in Wisconsin's basketball. Wisconsin is a state, and states cannot own objects because they aren't sentient beings. And Yao Ming's basketball... is just a regular basketball that happens to be owned by Yao Ming.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A black man and a white woman walk into a bar and celebrate their interracial marriage anniversary over a couple of drinks and then call a cab to avoid driving while intoxicated

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why is the post under me so funny? Because the boy won't be able to play the x box!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did Tyrone Jenkins say when Obama was elected? Nothing. He is not a real person, but merely a hypothetically existent man used only for the portrayal of a lacking punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you make a plumber mad? You tell him that his princess is in another castle about a thousand times over 25 years.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

There were three people on an airplane. A Mexican, an American and an Italian. The plane chrashed and they all died.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you get when you cross a helicopter, elephant, and a rhino? Heliphino

thumb_up thumb_down -19

knock knock, Whos there ? ( runs away ) trololololololololol

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the blonde walk into the men's restroom? Because the blonde was a man who needed to expel his feculent waste.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops