What do you call a penguin that hangs around in playgrounds? A paedophile.

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What do you call a bunch of hobos having sexual intercourse? A soup kitchen

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If Jimmy had 5 apples and his brother had 5 apples then their father would have been married to their mother before they were born.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his mother at the hospital who is dying of cancer.

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What did the pear tree say to the farmer? Go harvest that corn over yonder.

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What would you call a two-foot Irishman named Max? Max.

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The government

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Roses are reddish Violets are bluish If it wasn't for Christmas We'd all be Jewish

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Do you think the death man heard the one about, oh wait I bet he didn't

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Where does a blind person drive a car? Into a tree.

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A black guy and a white guy both interview for a job. The black guy gets the job because he is college educated and highly qualified.

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? we will never know he never opened it

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What would an ice hockey player do if the ice melted? Walk off, as the ice is only 3/4 of an inch thick.

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Why doesn't Batman exist? Because he was made up.

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Was in a coma, survived trough smoke and mirrors, and I had 3 separated sections of my order in order to test the efficiency of my words, united we are about 6.800.000 people. Excuse my anger below, I mean I was in a coma and ended up on some hard painkillers, and while I am still tapering down on a "totally medicinally safe" dosage of 20 mg valium its a bitch, even for a guy that enjoys a mild painkiller every now and then in order to focus. Excuse my excessive typing, its paincontrol vs the stress and all 64 side effects of valium. I am alive, and my followers know that, I do not mean to brag, but Neronism tends to end up fucked up when I am gone with people trying to live up to what only I can do apparently, so I decided it was time to mash the separate groups together... Btw, we live at point zero now, if you do not know where that is, I can inform you at later time. But be quick about it if you have more questions, we only chat on horsehead due the "discussed hours"

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How Many polish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, one person is capable of screwing in a light bulb. Unless they were mentally challenged, in which case, they would get someone else to do it for them.

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Yo mama's so fat, that when she jumped, gravity pushed her back to the floor!

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what did the left nut say to the right nut? The guy above us is a real dick huh?

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Whats the difference between eating an egg and an abortion? Think about it.

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What is the difference between Madeleine McCan and a toaster? A toaster wasn't raped and murdered.

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What did the boy eat for dinner? Shit.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Repeated jokes.

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Who invented the Iceberg Salad? The Titanic

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whats black and blue and has three legs? An abused deformed person.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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