What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you drown a blonde? Well there are a few ways, including holding her head underwater until she passes out and then leaving her in the pool.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a black person driving a plane? A pilot, because you dont want to call him anything racist i mean he is driving you up 25,000 ft in the air and the last thing you want is for him to get mad and decide to do something rational, God, you racists.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL O LO LO L OL O LO L OL O LO LO L OL OL O LO LO L OL OL OL O LO L OL OL O L OL OLLOLOLLOL OL O LO LO L OL OL O

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Have you ever tripped over a leaf? No. Neither have I.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Roses are red Violets are blue, I am sorry... But you have terminal cancer and are probably going to die in about 3 months

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the teacher say to the student? You failed science

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a dead man in a ditch? Phil.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the T Rex say to the pterodactyl? ROIRWR!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

I now pronounce you man and lion. You may now kiss the pride.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

THE GAME.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Are yu mad Twinkle twinkle little star if yu don't shut up I'm gonna hit you with my freaking car

thumb_up thumb_down +22

whats worse than being late to school haveing your family killed by an angry peice of toast

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q:Why did the boy cry? A: because his mom was hit by a bus Q: why did the boy wipe his face? A:he was covered in his mother blood and threatened all the witness who saw him push his mother into the bus

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: How do you break into your own house? A:You don't....thats ridiculous(:

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What was the black guy doing in Mississippi? Just hanging around.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

So Superman walks into a bar right, WRONG, Superman flies into bar

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do a fish and a frog have in common? They can both live in water. Its a well known fact.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

a white men said to another white men that someone robbed a bank, it was at night and he wasn't wearing a mask, and also the camera couldn't see him, they now found out that he was black.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? A basketball.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

"What would you do if i gave you a million dollars?" "I would scream and jump up and down? Are you really gonna give me a million dollars?" "No i just wanted to see what you would have said, that's all"

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red Violets are blue I have down syndrome duh dusfy druah

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Man walks into a bar and goes, "Ouch!"

thumb_up thumb_down +22

whats long, black, and smells like shit? a big turd

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops