why did the kid drop his toy? a dog was ripping out his throat

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Person 1: today my doctor said I'm dyslexic Person 2: oh yeah? Are you ahdd too?

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How is a raven like a writing desk? It isn't.

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Q: What did the architect say after he tripped? A: My mother died of cancer when I was 6.

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How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

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What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

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Q: Why did the lady retire? A: Because she had been working for numerous years and felt that she needed to spend more time with her family.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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Why was Rodney afraid of Chung Lee? Because Chung Lee is an intimidating person, capable of literally ripping your face off.

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What's the difference between an orange? The horse because the vest has no sleeves.

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Why did the black person sit in the back of bus? All the other seats were taken.

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What happenes if you put an elephant in the fridge? Nothing, it wouldnt fit.

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What is the difference between a boyscout and a Jew? Boys outs come home from camp.

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Why did the boy throw the clock out the window? He was severely depressed.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Generator? One powers your house...and then there's the generator.

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Who gave Miley Cyrus her new haircut? Hellen Keller

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A man goes to the hospital he says to the doctor while poking his leg it hurts here. Then he pokes his arm and here. Then his head and here. "Yes" the doctor says you've broken your finger.

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How many Druggies does it take to make toast. One.

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Whats the difference between 10 dead babies and 8 dead babies? 2 dead babies.

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What do you do if a goose comes flying towards you? Duck.

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Roses are red, and violets are freakin violet. Not blue.

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Q: Why couldn't the ginger play soul music ? A: He couldn't hit the right notes

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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So there is a blind man... and he walks past a fish market and takes a deep breath and says"Oh boy it sure does smell like fish out here".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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