What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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What's five miles long and has an IQ of 40? A democrat parade.

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Did you here about the guy who got his right leg and right arm cut off? I made him up but he would make one good anti-joke.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John Smith.

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Why does Santa Clause say Ho Ho Ho? He has Tuberculosis.

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What is Lady Gaga's real name? Who the crap knows?

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What mother loved her son so much, she gave him a scar on his forehead for it? Lily Potter.

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Michel Moor on a die...

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What is blue and on the bottom of the pool. A drowned baby

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a blond and a brunet jump of a bridge who hits the ground first ....... the brunet because the blond has to ask for directions

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

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What's the difference between 9/11 and Jenga? The World Trade Center wasn't ruined by clumsiness.

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whats the difference between a turkey and a baby i dont know how to cook a turkey

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What do your mum and dad have in common Not much your dads dead

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What do a purple grape and an elephant have in common? They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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What did the fan of Justin Beiber say? Nothing there are no fans.

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So you into art? You been to Louvre by the way?

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why were the African, Asian and Mexican men thrown out of the bar the barman was a racist

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why are marcos hands all swetty. he just got done giving a hand job to joe.

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knock knock Who's there? The Police! Your under arrest.

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What is black and white and red all over. A pile of dead zebras

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ive got nothing funny to say, so this is what its like to be a woman

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Depends how you look at it, I like some girl, she and that girl gets along, I get along with the two girls, and yeah, I make them fight to the death as I consume the weakest one and make the new one my wife of darkness! Well, actually, threesomes, but NEVAH, NEVAR!! *shakes fist towards the skies* with another man! Now if my waifu wants to have some fun with a girl, I say why not (and then she asks if I want to join always so far), its genetics, you know, each caveman had like 600 wivus and he did not have time to bang them all, now let those genes go trough MAN for a couple of millenia, and he becomes the KING OF DEMONS... ME! Those other scumbags are a whole other story. Oh, and the 600 wivus did either go without sexytime, or you know... I mean you do KNOW that women are like comfortable naked together and yeah...

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whats black and has many friends? a kind sociable black person

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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