What is orange and sounds like a parrot? A Carrot.

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I was gonna make a joke about a my dick... Racecar

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What do you do when your archenemy walks up to you? Kill them due to their vulnerability, I mean they walked up to you...

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a man walks into a bar he has a drinking problem and we are all consered

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You are pretty bad emulations, first of all you should all swear and cuss a lot, that way you never get green thumbs and you all get minimal attention (negative attention) from people whose messages do not concern. I mean come on, if you are all different, you gotta admit that you are all good at typing like the very same person, its just that, none of them are good at sounding as the guy they are trying to emulate.

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yo mama is so fat that wii fit puts her in the overweight category

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Why did the blonde girl drink lots of water? Because the fat comments got to her and she changed her diet to nothing but water

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A dog walks into a bar Because the door was open -Tag

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* Why is this dog barking? * Because he's a dog, if he were a cat it would meow.

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Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? It didn't. She did not own a dog.

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why did the girl like dick? Because Dick was a nice boy.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I dont know so why are you asking?

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You might be a redneck. Sorry.

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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Person 1:why did the person fart Person 2: wh.... Person 1:shut up I'm not interested any more! Btw person 2 got interrupted

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How do you make a baby stop crying? Make it smell its own diaper then, drown it in its own tears.

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Q:Why did the retarded student get called down to the office? A:Because both his parents died in a car accident.

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There are two fish in a tank. They both die, tanks are used for warfare.

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A muslim guy walks into a bar and orders a water as he isnt allowed to drink alcohol

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A bar walks into a man. The drink orders a bartender. And then the money walks home. End The.

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What do you get if you cross a canine and a sheep? A Sheepdog. What do you get if you cross a cat and a dog? You fucking stupid? It cant be done!

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Fill in the blank: Hello my name is ___, and today I would like to ask you why you put your real name in the blank? Posted by: BerserkSpoon

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Two men are in a bar. One of them turns to the other one and says, "I've slept with your mom." The other one replies "Go home dad you're drunk."

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Your pathetic humanity. Deux. Dios Gud God etc. Moral: You cannot even translate the name of his very being correctly, and you expect the bible to be translated right... Laught now, because I shall silence you soon enough...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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