yes i can connor, this is brett.

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Roses are red, violets are blue Charcoal is black, and so is my neighbor

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A man walks into a bar but didn't say anything because he is mute.

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how did the family die? They were shot in the head.

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Why does Bugs Bunny have big ears? Because he's a rabbit

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An irish man walks into a bar. He drinks responsibly, and leaves shortly afterward.

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What's dried up and smells like potatoes? Potato ships and school french fries.

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The Big Bang Theory (the show).

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what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one at the bottom eating its way out.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Two crabs are standing on a wall. One of them falls down. The second one's name is Georges.

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What's black and white and red all over A bloody penguin

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Q: Whats black white and red all over? A: A dead penguin

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Why didn't the black guy get paid for doing work hard at labor? it was the year of 1860!!

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A blind man walked into a bar and got a beer and got drunk and went on a rampage and killed YOUR MOM

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IF YOU ARE A GUY: Think about a really hot girl. She has the perfect chest, amazing face, blonde hair, and looks flat out stunning. She takes off her shirt which is very appealing and causes for you to get excited because you might get lucky. She takes off her pants, or skirt depending on the choice that you decided upon when imagining this girl, and is walking towards you in nothing but a bra and panties. She continues to take off her bra and gets on top of you. You passionately kiss and afterwords she whispers in your ear, "are you ready for some of this?" you nod your head and she proceeds to remove her panties. Let's freeze this situation for a moment. Assuming that you would ever be in a situation like that there has to be a catch right? A hidden camera, her husband comes home, a rabbid zombie crashes through the door...something. I am happy to tell you that there are no worries about this because nothing will stop you from making sweet and beautiful love to this woman. So let's get back to the scenario. You not your head and quickly tear off your clothes and begin exploring her body. Now turn her 64 and give her a penis with an amazing amount of pubic hair, make her fat, and submit to this manlady. You ask how this happened? Earlier that evening you took a particularly large amound of LSD, or acid if you prefer, and began tripping out. You began seeing ugly people as hot people, and hot people as ugly people. Your friends were concerned because you were hitting on a tree and started humping it at which you were removed from the party by your date who just so happened to be a fat and ugly hermaphrodite who repeatedly raped you and made you cry in submition to her kinky tactics. Drugs are bad, but they make for interesting stories for your friends to tell their children when they get older at your expense.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Koala fall out of the tree? He got hit by the first one. Why did the third Koala fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game and wanted to play along.

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Why did the guy get glasses? So he could get his dick into the vagina.

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What is worse than being unemployed? Terminal Cancer

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"Guess what I was doing in my room last night with the door closed with my hand?" "Please don't say what I think you're going to say" "What? I was just cleaning my room."

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What do you call a sheep? something to have sex with.

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So 2 apples are having sex, and one apple sais to the other, I got worms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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