Easy, you get a phone with a recorder that rather than playing a "please leave a message after the tone", plays the same tune as if the phone was still not picked up. Now tell me here and now, because I wont waste more time on you, what part did you play in this? Jenny Chatterton? Another one of your pseudonyms? What the fuck did you think would happen? You live in the Uk, london, so, tell me everything, or I will share every single detail here.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A priest, a rabbi and a scientologist walk into a bar. They discuss their various religious viewpoints until the scientologist gets a call informing him of his mother's death. The priest buys him a drink. Then the priest gets a call informing him of his mothers death. The rabbi buys him a drink. The rabbi gets a call. The scientologist expects it to be about the rabbi's mother dying, so he prematurely buys him a drink. It was actually the lottery commission telling the rabbi he won 48 million dollars.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I like my women like I like my coffee, a brewed beverage prepared from the roasted seeds of an evergreen shrub of the genus Coffea.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

PLEASE DONT READ THIS OR YOU'LL BE DIED IF YOU DONT THUMBS UP THIS LIKE POST THIS ON 20 MESSAGES OR YOU'RE BEST MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR LIFE WITHIN THE NEXT 7 DAYS

thumb_up thumb_down +6

One more note for my children: ...My words appeal to your dark, evil side, it is that which might trigger your fear and disgust... But dont blame your fear on me you moron... ....To those that react with fear and disgust towards my comments: You know the fear and disgust in you, your own emotions make you feel fear and disgust for yourselves, because like all and everything that feels the inspiring words of the Black Angel... ...You know you like it ;) The friendly Black Angel/R*pist: God can free you from the temptation I inspired in your heart, but why would you? Now, thumb this comment down, so you can feel "good about yourself" and suffer in life in order to become a slave and serve the one that made you suffer troughout life... You think me, yet you fail to see that if it where me, I would have be Jehovah your GOD!... ...Worry not though, all of those that plan to stick alive for 10-15 years and I allow to live, will get to serve The Only God, your EMPEROR: Moral Man... Know my name and fear it, and yes mortal, you will also be screaming it...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are shitty Violets are bitches I'm fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did Sally fall off the swingset? She had no arms. Knock ,Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did little jonny do when he broke his leg? He proceeded to brake into tears due to the excruciating pain caused by his unfortunate injury.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Man walks in the bar then buys a drink

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Did you hear the one about the chicken crossing the road? It wanted to go to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why was the boy sad? because his mom just punched his hamburger

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a Ku Klux Klan member who has been set on fire? Burnt Marshmallow.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why didn't the black man get the scholarship? Because he didn't apply for it.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did one stool say to the other stool? Stools don't speak!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why doesnt bally lifeguard he isnt qualified

thumb_up thumb_down +6

c:

thumb_up thumb_down +6

There was a 4-car accident in Mexico today. 87 people died.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

a boy with asperges asked me a question today he asked me again and again because he has asperges

thumb_up thumb_down +6

angelosnyder is not gay

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why did the kid raise his hand in class because he had a question

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I would have made you laugh, but that is not the point is it? Moral: What do you expect from the 4th most pointless invention?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did Sally cross the street? Because someone was gonna rape her if she didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I dont usually get jokes, but when i do I get them.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops