Why did the father smash his sons head into the dentist's building? Because he had a locker in his mouth. Also, equestrian.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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An airplane has 100 bricks on-board. If you drop one brick, how many bricks would be left? 99 -------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you put a giraffe inside a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, put the giraffe inside, close the refrigerator. -------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you put an elephant inside a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put the elephant inside, close the refrigerator. -------------------------------------------------------------------- The Lion King gathered all the animals from the land to a meeting. Everyone came, except one. Who was the animal? The elephant. He's still inside the refrigerator. ------------------------------------------------------------------- You want to cross a river, but you know that there are crocodiles there. There is no bridge, vines to swing from, etc. How do you cross the river? Swim across the river. The crocodiles are at the meeting with The Lion King. ------------------------------------------------------------------- So you swimmed over the river, but how did you still die? You were hit by the brick falling from the airplane.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? What do you mean what's the difference?!?! One of them is a fucking elephant!

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What do u get when you mix a young asian woman and a black man? Tiger Woods

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What's brown and rhymes with poop? Dr. Dre.

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Why'd The Little Kid Drop His Ice Cream Cone? Because He Witnessed His Mom get Raped in front of his house by the man driving the ice cream truck and the realized that he was licking frozen semen......

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What is the same about fries chicken and watermelon? There both delicious.

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Q. whats red and sits in a hairdressers? A. a baby getting its hair cut with a potato peeler

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Human: Are you a frayed knot? Frayed knot: I'm afraid so.

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Q: What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? A: His name.

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Why did the little girl drop her school books? A kid jacked her in the head with a brick.

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How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

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Why did Alex fall off the swing? he had no arms

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Were can you find a bag of meth?

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What happens if you go one louder? Nothing because you can't

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What did the fly say when he went to Dunkin Donuts? Can I have a doughnut?

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A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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who dosent like to wear shirts and is not straight Petko Manchev

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I walk into a bar...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was in the designated crosswalk area and there was no oncoming traffic.

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Everyone is equal. It doesn't matter if you're black, red, yellow, brown, or normal.

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Cat ate a battery, did volts.

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Yo momma so fat, the last time she saw 90210 was on the scale!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops