How do you stop a baby alien from crying? Watch what its mother does to soothe it and then try and copy that.

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Why did the black guy buy a jug of grape soda Because he was thirsty

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a dog, Meow.

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You are a special guy, and I mean that in a really sweet way, but a retard no. Synapses, tell me more please.

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Hey, I just met you. Nice to meet you.

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Why are Chinese people short? Chinese people are often exposed to harmful chemicals because of lax environmental laws, and suffer from poor nutrition.

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How much cocain did Charlie sheen do? Enough to kill 2 and a half men

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A Jew walks into a furnace.. The bartender says "What'll you have?" The Jew wonders why there is a bartender in this furnace, then they die.

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Why did Mike Tyson say he would eat his children? Thats mean! friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Why not just vi0late them REALLY REALLY FUCKlNG HARD! Its a Win/Win/Win/Sore ass situation.

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If God gives you lemons you find a new God

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My heart skipped a beat, I'm dead.

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What did Batman and Robin say when they were going to the Batmobile? To the Batmobile

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Why did Madona rub shit on her vagina? Because she was horny.

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Jimmy and Ted are racing each other at the end ov the street. Jimmy is taller and thinner but Ted has more endurance. Who wins the race? A: the drunk driver

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What do you find in a pile of dead babies? ************************************************ A dead baby.

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What did the Polack do in the rainstorm? He got wet.

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whats 69+2? 71

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Why did the burrito taste bad? It's a giraffe.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I threw it after I chopped its' head off.

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MORTAL KOMBAAAAAT BETA 0.3!!! DUDUDUDUDUDUDUNDUN Kano, Kano, Kano, Uh, some asian guy? Kano Kano, Kano, some black guy in the future, Kano, Kano, etc. MORTAL KOMBAAAT BETA 0.3!!!

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What's the difference between a baby and a textbook? You throw a textbook at the wall with TWO hands.

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Hellen keller

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Who's the biggest badass in the nation? Adrenaline junky Jacobs!

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Is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Getting AIDS.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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