What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should? Fly halfway across the world when the environment turns hostile.

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Question what is blue and floats Answer everything that is blue that foes not sink

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i like my woman how i like my coffe... without d i c k s

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Knock, Knock Who's There

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What did one pare say to the other ... ... WE MAKE A GREAT PARE!!!

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A blind man and his dog walk into a store, the man lifts up the dog and begins to spin around. When questioned about his activity the man replies, "I'm just looking around"

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What has three eyes, scales, seventeen stomachs, and can produce milk? Nothing. Nature has not yet evolved any animal to these specifications.

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Why do cats burp quietly, because they aren't men

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why did the kid with no legs get eaten by wolves? he couldn't get away

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How did Steve Jobs die? Of cancer, in a bed, and surrounded by his loved ones.

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Where did the did the Islamic person fly the jet to? Ben Gurion International Airport located in Israel

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What do you call a homosexuall man? Homosexuall man.

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Why does Bugs Bunny have big ears? Because he's a rabbit

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How did the blonde reply to the male man when he asked how she was? "I'm good."

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Q:What did the wall say to the other wall? A: .

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Women's rights

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees an officer standing on a street corner and a pile of burning rubble behind him. He asks the officer what happened and he replies "A bomb fell from the sky and annihilated the city orphanage. 214 children were killed and two nearby families of 3 and 6 were severely injured and are now in the hospital with no hope of survival." The man was found dead later that week with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

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how many blondes did it take to fix a nuclear reactor? 1 she was a black japanese rapist

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what do you call it when justin beiber makes a sex tape with selina gomez? lesbian porn.

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When time is the best time to make a wish during the day? 9:11

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Knock knock. Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? Doctor Brown, I have your test results, you've HIV positive.

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A Mexican is a Mexican and a bench is a bench.

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What do u call a banana? A banana......

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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