Yo mamas so ugly that when she went to an ugly contest the host said "sorry no Professionals"

I killed someone on minecraft.

what did the black man say to the white girl? He respectfully asked her out on a date and theyve been happily dateing ever since.

Knock knock We aren't home Sorry.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Realising the apple is the worm...

What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, and only one eye? Dave.

Your mums so stupid. She bought an apple for 35p even though the shop across the road sells them for 34p

There is more than one way to skin a cat. I used a potato skin peeler.

Why did the elephant fall down? He was shot by poachers.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Actually a better question would be, why is the chicken near a road in the first place?

One girl said to her friends, "LOL guys wait for me." She ran to a pile of corpses. The girl was about to lose her sanity as she was in denial when her friends had died. She held hands of two of the corpses and smiled and pretended everything was ok.

Why did Moses cross the road? He wanted to play Xbox with his friend Jeff. Moses was a 12 year old boy from California.

Larchmont Park is the biggest shithole in the european union - Only the jippo part tho, lots of flies live in that part <3

Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? No. Trees don't jump

A man decided to enter the local pun contest. He sent in ten puns. One of them was very witty and he won the contest and felt very good about himself.

no pun intended

a jew walks out of a furnace

ha ha, I can talk and you can't.

Why did Peter go to the dentist? Because he had to go to the dentist!

Two nuns are in a bathtub, one nun turns to the other and says "where's the soap". The other nun replies "it does, doesn't it".

Where does the girl with one leg work? Ihop

JUST KIDDING^

How do you get an alien baby to sleep? Well, first you need to get an alien baby.

Why was Chris crying? There was a robbery at his house and both of his parents were brutally murdered.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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