okay so one time my dog was eating an octopus tail and i was all like...Bro! octopus are our friends dont eat them! then he was all like okay...so later i saw my goldfish eating a blue kangaroo and i was all like bro blue kangaroos are our friends dont eat them and she was all like okay.. so then i saw my sandwich eating itself and i was like bro...let me eat you instead! and it was like okay. then i saw a bear eating you so i was like bro....thats all i said before it ate both of us :( and thats the story of why i have 6 toes on my left buttcheek

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red Violets are blue Actually, no they're not. They're VIOLET. That's why they're called that. If they were blue, they would be called "Blues", or something of a similar nature. Don't be dumb.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A Mexican is a Mexican and a bench is a bench.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Which is longer? A rope...

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A hipster walks into a bar you've never heard of.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did Charlie do when he lost his golden ticket? He killed his grandpa to get it back.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what did the dog say to the cat? give me back my dog food.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

knock knock who's th...AIDS.....

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Yo momma so fat when god said let there be let he said get the fuck out the way!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why is French Fries not a Chinese Food? Answer: Because the Chinese people will get offended.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Your mom is so fat she wears large clothes

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How did Steve Jobs die? Of cancer, in a bed, and surrounded by his loved ones.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why do cats burp quietly, because they aren't men

thumb_up thumb_down -15

your moms so fat that she had to buy bigger cloths, her husband left her, she became a druggie and died alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the chicken cross the road? it was wandering and had no idea wht it was doing because it has very little mental capacity whatsoever

thumb_up thumb_down -15

When my brother was hanging at YOUR cross, he asked "daddy" "Oh father why!" Then lightning struck and the weather went to fuck. Moral: WHAT KIND OF RESPONSE IS THAT YOU PIECE OF SHIT!?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why don't gingerbread cookies have souls? Cookies don't have souls.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

My asian freind died recently... But on another note why did the chicken cross the road.Crosing the road is a metaphor for killing yourself and the chicken is my asian freind.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is a dog's favorite color? None,dogs have colorblindness.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the guy say when he dropped his baby? "oh no!"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do andy and Justin Bieber have in common? they are both 5'7

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why was the little girl crying in her dads arms? Because he was strangling her

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops