What do you get when you cross a spoon and a fork? A spoon crossed with a fork.

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Your mother's breath smells so bad that it just doesn't smell very good at all.

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How do you stop a baby alien from crying? Watch what its mother does to soothe it and then try and copy that.

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Did you hear that the actress, Reese what's-her-name, got stabbed to death? Witherspoon? No, with a knife.

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So a guy walks into a bar.... he gets a few drinks pays his bill and goes home.

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Your mother lives so loosely that she has several terminal diseases and only has 3 weeks to live.

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A duck walks into a bar. Then he walks out.

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Why was ticklish Tom not ticklish anymore? A: he got hit by a train

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how do you upset a black guy kill his family :)

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Why was bobby late for school? Because he drove off a bridge.

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knock knock who's there? the paperboy the paperboy who? i lied, i'm a serial rapist, you should have looked through the peephole

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot.

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Someone stopped playing Skyrim.

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whoes considered the best trackstar in the world. the random jamacan who ran onto the field.

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QUIT PUSHING DAD GUMMIT!!!

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a blond a her blond boyfriend were walking acrossed a river. she gose over the river but the ramp brecks when she's past. her boyfriend says wait until night and I'll get a flashlight and shine it acrossed get on the light beem and walk acrossed.she says no when I'm haf way acrossed you will turn the light off.

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almost as accidental as your spelling im afraid

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A man and his friend are talking. The man says, "You know what's funny? Sometimes you mean to say one thing and you say a completely different thing. Like the other day I wanted to buy a ticket to pittsburgh, but the lady I was buying it from had very large breasts, so I accidentally said 'Can I have a picket to titsburgh?'" And the other guy says, "Yeah, man, it's really funny you say that, the other day I meant to ask my wife to pass the salt, and I said 'you whore, you ruined my life'"

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Knock Knock. The doors unlocked you can come in. The two men have a nice conversation while enjoying a couple of beers and then order a pizza because they get hungry.

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Why was the African american pulled over in New Jersey? He was 17 and didn't have his red stickers.

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There is a wire, Let's put it on fire, The fire spread so did your legs, Now were both lying dead on your bed.

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Why did the cat bite its owner? Because the owner had been dead for several days and the cat was locked in the house with nothing else to eat.

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What happened to timmy? He had downsyndrome and walked off a cliff

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Roses are red. Violets are blue... Hold on. Roses could be white too.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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