Knock Knock JUST OPEN THE FLIPPIN DOOR ALREADY! I DON"T NEED YOU TO KNOCK AND INTRODUCE YOURSELF EVERY TIME YOU COME TO MY HOUSE!!! Jeez...seriously

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Q: How do you get a giraffe into a refrigerator? A: You open the door put the giraffe in and the close the door. Q: How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? A: You open the door to the refrigerator take the giraffe out then put the elephant in and close the door. Q: The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend but one, which one is it? A: The elephant it's in the fridge Q: You have to cross a river that is inhabited by crocodiles how do you cross it? A: You swim across, the crocodiles are at the animal conference.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put my dick in your ass

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How did the baby cross the ocean? It was stapled to a whale.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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What happens when lady gaga and chris brown jump into the pool at the same exact time. They get wet

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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what was the last pizza place the twin towers ordered from? Domino's

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What's red and hurts your teeth. Answer: a brick

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A man walks into a bar. He suffered concussions later that night.

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Why was the man sent to the hospital? He got crushed by a flying refrigerator.

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I like peanuts. I like peanuts. I like peanuts. I'm allergic to peanuts. DAMIT

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So 2 black guys walk into a bar and the bartender looks around and say "what will you fine gentlemen have?" and they order and payed their tab and could not have been more courteous, amirite?

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Knock knock Who's there No one We are all on the computer

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Why did Darren Wilson quick scope Michael Brown? Because he was being attacked, racism is wrong

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So does Blake

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Why was six afraid of seven? Six had severe paranoia.

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Why aren't elephants allowed in public pools? Because they are elephants.

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Roses are Roses Violets are Violets I am to Literal, That is a statement.

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Why did the Elf stab the Gnome? Because I was on a bad acid trip.

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Dad, why are we Swedish? Because antilopes and the butterfly effect son.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm extremely unstable. And So are you.

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A French man gets into a fight

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The town was so small. The ferris wheel was green.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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