Why did the family at dinner not tip the waiter? He was mean and spat in their food.

Q: What do you call a fish with no eye? A: Fssshh

Yo mama's so fat she has diabetes.

antonio is ssooo shexy and smokes

What's the difference between a Mustang and a sack of dead babies? I don't have a sack of dead babies in my garage.

So tell me what’s worse than a baby? A dead baby… Well then what’s worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies… And what’s worse than a pile of dead babies? A live baby sitting on top of a pile of dead babies… And what’s worse than a live baby sitting on top of a pile of dead babies? A live baby eating it’s way out of a pile of dead babies…

What did the hunter say when he saw the elephants coming? Here come the elephants. What did the hunter say when he saw the elephants coming wearing a pair of sunglasses? Like wearing a pair of sunglasses as a dhitty disguise would confuse me. I took law at UCLA before becoming a professional game hunter and I've been in this business for almost 10 years. I think I know an elephant with or without sunglasses.

Whats grosser than a bloody hand? 2 bloody hands.

How many men do you have to have sex with to show that you're gay? But, I'm a woman!

Roses are red Violets are blue This poem sucks Because violets are purple

What happens when you breed a T-rex and a mammoth? You can't, both animals are extinct.

You know what's funny? You can't spell manslaughter without laughter.

A man tells his wife to leave the kitchen

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am Jack Bauer, Where is the nuke?

what do you get a man with no arms or legs for his birthday? a quick, painless death.

A man walks into a bar. A few hours later he walks out.

"Where are my shoes?" asked the man. "On your feet," I replied. "You are a paraplegic and have no feeling from the waist down."

There are two kinds of people in this world: those that finish their sentences

What did the one stethoscope say to the other stethoscope? Nothing. Stethoscopes can't talk.

My friend who's a chef was stabbed by his own kitchen knife, everyone said it would be in bad taste to joke about it.

I dyslexic man walks into a bra. This incident had no relation whatsoever to his condition. The bra was just in an unusual and inconvenient location, and he wasn't paying much attention to where he was going.

squash squash who squash my ass

What's black, white, and red all over? A lot of things, you just gotta keep your eyes peeled.

What did the homosexual get for Christmas off his boyfriend? A lovely present off his loving partner.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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