Me and the wife spent her Birthday in bed, if you know what I mean. We're both severely disabled.

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People Eating Tasty Animals

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hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

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Did you hear about the little girl who got a bike for her birthday? Shes dying of Terminal Cancer

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What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, and only one eye? Dave.

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I killed someone on minecraft.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Realising the apple is the worm...

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Your mums so stupid. She bought an apple for 35p even though the shop across the road sells them for 34p

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Yo mamas so ugly that when she went to an ugly contest the host said "sorry no Professionals"

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Knock knock We aren't home Sorry.

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what did the black man say to the white girl? He respectfully asked her out on a date and theyve been happily dateing ever since.

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? No. Trees don't jump

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There is more than one way to skin a cat. I used a potato skin peeler.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Actually a better question would be, why is the chicken near a road in the first place?

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Why did Moses cross the road? He wanted to play Xbox with his friend Jeff. Moses was a 12 year old boy from California.

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Why did the elephant fall down? He was shot by poachers.

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One girl said to her friends, "LOL guys wait for me." She ran to a pile of corpses. The girl was about to lose her sanity as she was in denial when her friends had died. She held hands of two of the corpses and smiled and pretended everything was ok.

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Larchmont Park is the biggest shithole in the european union - Only the jippo part tho, lots of flies live in that part <3

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kesha is a virgin.

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What did the fat gypsy say to the attractive young woman aged twenty-five? I know you are probably not remotely interested in having sex with me, but I'm afraid that you have no choice due to the fact that I've locked all of the doors.

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What did the boy eat for dinner? Shit.

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How long does it take a woman to park a car? Shouldn't take long, depends on the size of the parking spot.

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Q: Why did the bear fall out of the tree? A: Because humans tranquilized him, brought him to an animal shelter 100 miles away from his home. Then after he got out he got hit by a car and died. PETA is watching.....always

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1,2,3,4,5... 6.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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