what did the policeman say to an armed robber? you can go, as long as you don't hurt my doughnuts

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead. Q: Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? A: Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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Knock Knock. I paid good money for a doorbell. Use it, please.

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These are some questions you should never ask on a first date: When you wipe do you throw your toilet tissue in the toilet or on a trash can? Do you smell your hands after you wipe? Do you you ever look down when you take a dump and see it come out? Have you ever picked your butt and then picked your nose with the same finger?

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Knock knock Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? T get to the other side of the road

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why did the bear cross the road? to get cream cheese.

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When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

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teacher: what is your name? student: some people call me attractive (mx)

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why didn't the boy get his soda Because the cashier shot him

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hickory dickory dock no one cares

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What happened when the mailman shot the plumber? The plumber died.

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What is better than one trillion dollars? One trillion and one dollars... duh.

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I like the color potato.

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Lady wanna go out sometime? Im not lesbian girl! Im not a girl... OUCHIE!

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Lisa: Omg Karen, just had sex with Ben, his weiner was sooo tiny lol. Ben: I think you sent me the wrong text.

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Q: Where do zombies shop? A: Zombercrombie.

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Billy and Suzy sitting in a tree... Billy is gay.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?? So he could tell me to tell this joke to everybody and therefore prevent the universe from exploding

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What did the bar say to the man? Nothing, bars can't talk

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whats the difference between a black and a bunk bed? a bunk bed can support 2 kids.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question; feminists can't change anything.

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side.

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Q:How many pancakes can you fit on top of as doghouse? A:Purple. Because ice cream has no bones.....

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What would you call Shaquille O'Neal if he was on the moon? Shaquille O'Neal, or any nickname you may have for him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops