This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well crap whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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Whats invisable and smells like a apple? An invisable apple

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What's white, wet, and sticky? A tissue that I just blew my nose with.

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What's the difference between chili and a urologist? One is hot and spicy and the other analyzes urine.

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What did Helen Keller name her pet dog? dfhiwueghweigw

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the first monkey? why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure.

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Where did the taxi driver put his suitcase down? celery

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SEX IS LIKE MATH ADD THE BED SUBTRACT THECLOTHES DIVIDE THE LEGS AND PRAY U DONT MULTIPLY!!!!

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Why is John single? Because women are materialistic.

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justin beiber has a penis hahahahahahhaah lol not really

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What did Santa call the prostitute? Nothing. Santa isn't real.

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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roses are red violets are blue last time i dropped something this hard it ended world war 2?

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What is blue and smells like the sea The ocean

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Q: How do you make three atheists cry? A: Kill their families.

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I scream, you scream, we all scream for shit

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall? it depends on how hard you throw them

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Doorbell repairman. ym

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What did the muffin say to the cup cake? nothing, muffins can't talk, and cup cakes can't hear.

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No one walks into a bar... because it was closed.

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Why did the boy stop working on a farm? His country became more economically developed.

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Not a joke.

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Why did the black man buy a gun? because he wanted to go hunting.

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Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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