Why did the woman scream when she saw her brother? Because he had just come back from fighting in the Iraq war and she was extremely happy to see that he's alright

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Why did the boy with one arm have no friends? He was a cereal killer from Ireland.

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oh, you have a baby on board? I'll just drive into the the car next to you...

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Why can't Johnny ride a bike? Because Johnny is a potato.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Did you hear the joke about the deaf kid? He didn't either.

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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what can't you see but stalks you all day and night? ME!!!

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Did you hear about Billy's magic trick? No? Don't worry, it was a trick question.

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Alister Darling plucks his eyebrows.

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Q. Why did the chick go to KFC? A. To visit his mother

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An asian man, a black man, and a white man walk into a bar. All three of them order a scotch, coincidentally this is their favorite beverage.

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What did a fireman say to his wife right after they got ran over by a stampede of bulls? nothing.... they were dead.

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Poop

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Whats worse than the holocaust A.MRS FRANK B.HITLER ANSWER MRS FRANK

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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why did the man get a divorce? Because his wife had an affair.

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What did the sniper say when a newsreporter asked what he felt when he shot a terrorist? The sniper replied: Recoil.

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what is more fun than shower time with adele. a mass gang bang with antonia

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If Johnny has 5 apples and Susie has 7 apples, will they give them to the homeless?

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? Cause it was stapled to the chicken.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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why did the chicken cross the street? so it could throw a fridge at you, you are very loud at night for some reason and you wake everyone up. the chicken then goes home to watch gay porn videos.

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Roses are read Vilots are blue, I have a gun, Now get out of my house!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops