What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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What do you call shark with no dorsal fin? Unused ingredients for soup.

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carn ehney bodie hellp mie with mine smellings?

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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Why was the Energizer Bunny arrested? He was found guilty of two acts of murder in the first degree.

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What is the difference between a lion and a tiger? A lion ,on average, weighs 31 kilograms more.

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What did the dog say to the other dog? Woof.

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TWIX PAUSE!

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How do you escape prison? Kill everyone in it hen once you have escaped find their families and viciously murder them. Are they going the send you back to prison? No because you will kill everyone.

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How many Weasleys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2

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What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

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roses are red violets are blue i have shit in my mouth so screw you

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How do you get a one armed man out of a tree? you throw a fridge at him

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Roses are red, violets are blue, so is my face, I'm constipated

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Everybody love food when they are hungry

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Dakota Fanning

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A scholarship to a prestigious college that he did not deserve.

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What is worse than the holocaust. A worm in MY apple!

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How do u stop sky from being gay. You don't

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i put a oie in the oven, it baked

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Q: What did Mr. Spoke say when Captain Kirk was raping him? A: "Ouch! Ouch! Captain, this is so illogical!"

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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what did helen keller say to the nazi? -nothing, helen keller was blind and deaf so she could never aquired the ability to speak

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what do the parents of a starved family do? kill their kids chop them up into little pieces and eat them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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