How many dead babies does it take to paint a room? This is impossible as dead babies are incapable of achieving such a feat.

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Why did the little boy fall asleep? His parent pulled the plug.

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Did you hear about the gay midget? He came out of the cupboard.

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What did the monkey say after its tail was run over by a lawnmower? It won't be long now.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. His family is struggling financially and his children are severely malnourished. If he wasn't an alcoholic, he could afford healthcare for his family and move into a better neighborhood. But he's not, so they will die a long, painful death.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SPONGEBO... nope bin laden

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Your momma so stupid, she dropped out of school at a young age of 12.

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You are pretty bad emulations, first of all you should all swear and cuss a lot, that way you never get green thumbs and you all get minimal attention (negative attention) from people whose messages do not concern. I mean come on, if you are all different, you gotta admit that you are all good at typing like the very same person, its just that, none of them are good at sounding as the guy they are trying to emulate.

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What's wrong with a black man in a bar? Nothing, Except the fact that he is an alcoholic, and will probably beat his wife after drinking.

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McDonald. It's run by Lawers

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25

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I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up here me shout: Absolutely nothing because I'm a teapot you maniacal psychopath.

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What did the guy say when he dropped his baby? "oh no!"

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A muslim guy walks into a bar and orders a water as he isnt allowed to drink alcohol

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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What would you do when pigs fly? Pigs cannot fly, therefore this question is impractical.

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What do you get if you cross a canine and a sheep? A Sheepdog. What do you get if you cross a cat and a dog? You fucking stupid? It cant be done!

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What's green, has four legs, and falls out of a tree? A pool table in a tree

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Brown Bear, Brown Bear what do you see? I see some poachers looking at that tiger over there.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? Nope.

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What do you call a Muslim pilot? An accident waiting to happen

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Q. Dr.evil? JHHHHHHHHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN

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wots brown and smells like shite shite

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Knock knock Who's there . I said who's there. Sadly this poor man didn't understand he had just been door bell ditched.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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