The woman says : OMG I am so hung over!! The man next to her has Terrible tourertts turns around and shouts I want my to make them hung over your face, her then moves away and rapes a apple of which he is eating, the woman turns around and dies as she has a brain tumor

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A Dog walks into a bar to order a drink. The bar patrons are at first amused and overjoyed to share their night with a playful pet, until they see that his mouth is foaming and he's already started trying to eat the nearest child. Screams erupt as the bartender calls 911. The dog manages to injure two patrons before he is tazed by the police and taken to be put down. One of the men injured has to have his arm amputated, which is unfortunate for his new career as a heart surgeon. The hospital informs him that they have no choice but to force him to resign, after they hand him his lengthy medical bill. He ends up losing his apartment, and his fiance leaves him for someone more stable financially. The man then drinks himself to death, after attacking and killing a local dog with his one remaining hand. The dog belonged to a new family on the block, whose son had terminal cancer. Due to the cancer, the boy had trouble making friends in a new area, and the dog (Sonny) was his one source of companionship and, by extension, hope. The boy is later admitted to the hospital for breathing problems, and after a 4-hour surgery, is pronounced dead. His attending physician was quoted as saying "He was so close to beating back the infection, but all of a sudden it seemed like he just... gave up." I mean, how was a dog supposed to order a drink in the first place, am I right?

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What Happens when you shoot a deer? It's Dead

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what kind of road kill is green and smells like cookies? girl scouts

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The other day I was talking to this guy... Nice guy

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this girl and guy were sitting on my couch turns out its my sister and her boyfriend and she just farted

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What is Wonder Woman's drug of choice? Heroine.

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What happened as a result of the bitter terrorist attack? The president began to devise a plan to help the abused child

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Knock Knock Who's There? Bill Bill Who? Builder

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a jew walked into a bar-mitzvah

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I17. I17. I17. That was my best impression of a Bingo caller.

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What do people call the completely paralyzed man with no eyes? David, his name.

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How old is george washington? anyway thats not the point your pregnant

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Are you the only 10 I see? Because I'm blind.

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25

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Wanna hear a joke? What? Life.

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I came to the bar at 7:00. What time did I leave at? There was no clock at the bar I went to, therefore i cannot determine when I left or when I cmae, so my above opinion is clearly incorrect.

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Why was the boy named Bethel? He had horrible parents that wanted him to live a life of social poverty.

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How do you confuse a blonde? put her in a circular room and tell her to stand in the corner

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BOB: Hey look its spiderman Spiderman: IT'S MANSPIDER!!! Punch! Kick! Ouch!

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Some black guy grabs a white guys wallet. the black guy says " hey I think you dropped this"

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What did the boy say when he got hit by a car? Nothing, he punctured his lungs.

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Why did the black man go to KFC? Ever since the economic downfall Kentucky Fried Chicken is the only remaining food dispensary in a 5 miles radius.......and hes black

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What's three times as dangerous than a war? Three wars.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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