A man wakes up in the hospital after being in a car accident. He begins to yell "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor hurries into the room to find out why the patient is yelling. The doctor then promptly explains that this was due to the crash severing his spinal cord and rendering him paraplegic for the rest of his life. The doctor after explaining this states he'll never walk again, before leaving the patient's room.

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What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for chrismas ? cancer

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why did the photographer take so many pictures? Because he gets paid.

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Q: what is green, red, white, on fire, in space A: i dont know you tell me

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house... knock knock who's there the chicken

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Why wasn't Steve paying attention in class? Because he was dead.

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Why can't Susie jump rope? Because she has no arms. Knock knock! who's there? Not Susie.

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Why does Rupert The Bear wear checkered trousers? Because he's a twat.

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what is worse than losing your phone? having it destroyed because you were texting while driving causing an accident and you are not eligible for and upgrade for another two months.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You d@mn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Suicide Johnny and the Go Kill Yourselves

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What did the black man say to the white man standing next to him? Hi

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens don't have the cognitive capacity to reason. So you'd never know

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Q: Why can you not thumb up your own comment? A: "You've already voted" douche...

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Why couldn't the little girl see in the dark? She had no eyes.

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Why did the old man die? He died because he saw the light wich happened to be a street light in the distance.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The mailman. I don't believe you.

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Would you believe me if i said... ^^^^ You read that line wrong?

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Someone threw a fridge at him.

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why did the little girl drown? because she was left unsupervized and had never properly learned to swim. she also had no arms and cancer.

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What's the difference between a car and a sack of dead babies? I don't keep a car in my garage.

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noah is a scrub jungle

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops