Q: What did the magician do to cure his cold?? A: Took medicine!

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Guess what I saw... Wood, I'm a carpenter.

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What's white and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A refrigerator.

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a black man and a squirrel get hit on two different roads what's the difference? well for starters theyre two different species. a squirrel is much smaller than a human and has his own mark on society. the man will be missed dearly by his family and if the impact with the car wasnt bad, he may have a chance to make it out alive at the hospital. the squirrel however is not so lucky. it will be left to die on the street or would have died on impact already with sadly no squirrel hospital to tend to it.

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An Englishman, a Frenchman, and a Viking are all fighting over a piece of land. The piece of land was the whole of England and this was the beginning of the Noman conquest in 1066.

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What 10 inches long and wont be getting sucked this valentines day? Whitney Houstons crack pipe

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What do you call a praying mantis at your door step? a Jehovah Witness

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Bitch

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police The police who? Sir, your wife is dead.

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Your mom is so dumb that all of society says she was poorly educated.

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Poop!!

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What did the fish say to the octopus? nothing... fish cant talk.

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How do you make a black plumber cry? - kill his whole family

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Why was David sad? Because he got his head stuck in a window.

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What do you do to vegetables to make them taste good? Nothing. They are still people, and they can't speak up for themselves.

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Why doesn't Santa deliver gifts anymore? Because Santa died of a heart attack.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a dog in your apple

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what's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? when you slap a mosquito it stops sucking:)

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Q: Why doesn't the Mexican belong in St. Louis? A: Because he ran away from home, his family lives in Kansas City.

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What do you get when you cross a spoon and a fork? A spoon crossed with a fork.

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Why did the Mr. bunny play the piano? - His wife Lannette was ill, and her last wish before she died was for him to.

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what looks like a bananna but is blue a blue bananna

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender: why the long face Horse: I'm dying of an incurable cancer...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops