what did the frog say to the fence? chicken

What do you get when you jab a four year old with a pair of scissors? A warrant for your arrest.

There once was a man from Nantucket who lost most of his savings by making bad investment decisions.

What do you call a dead black person? A corpse.

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was sick and tired of all the repeated monkey jokes and commited suicide and preceded to fall out of the tree.

Who is the funniest guy on this planet? Mike the Situation.

Knock knock Who's there? Prosti Prosti who? Prostitute

Why are ther so many black people in the NBA? Because culturally Basketball is a very popular sport among a lot of African Americans, thus providing a lot of African Amercans to play Basketball professionally

Whats a dogs favorite thing to eat? Food.

What did the baby say to it's mother as it was being thrown in the trash bin? Nothing, it couldn't talk yet.

What's the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck; the other regrets having you as a child.

why can stevie wonder drive? He's blind

What is the definition of a "crying shame"? Very similar to the definition of a shame, but moreso.

Why couldn't the kid eat candy? He had diabetes, so he could put himself in danger and possibly result in death which would leave the family torn apart and all committing suicide in a matter of 10 years.

drugs.

Annld so the penguin said, "This is my most casual outfit!"

Q: What's worse than school? A:Your mum dying

Have you ever tripped over a leaf? No. Neither have I.

What do you call a lesbian eskimo? The name she was given at birth.

What did the people say to each other when they ate the orange? Orange you glad I didn't eat you:) HAHAHAA orange you glad that I am good at telling jokes!

A black man walks into a store and buys something.

Whats the difference between a prostitute and crack dealer? One sells addicting drugs, while the other exploits her vagina for money. Either way, they're both illegal.

Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm ovulating

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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