What do you call a man with a spade on his head? Doug

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Q: What do you get when you put a boy and a girl together in a locked room? A: Blood and gore.

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How do you make a suicide jumper not jump? Shoot him instead.

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One man said to another, "Hey, can you hear that?" "No." He replied.

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Roses are red, Your blood is too, Don't believe me? I WILL CUT YOU

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What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Jews don't celebrate Christmas, therefore nothing

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There were 3 women, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They all had different colors of hair because hair color varies depending on genetics.

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I brought a parachute as carry on luggage, I was pulled aside at security and missed my flight.

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WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT? roger rabbit while hilarious, was an idiot and framed himself....mind F***.

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Roses are red Jeffrey's a nigger A refrigerator is white But Jeffrey's not a refrigerator. He's a nigger.

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why didnt Joe drive the tractor today? Because Joe doesnt have any arms or legs. Why doesnt Joe have any arms or legs? A) Because Joe is a potatoe

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A man goes to the beach to meat babes, but know one seemes to notice him. The man notices another man with a crowed of beautiful women surrounding him. Later that day he stops the man and asks him, how do you get all those girls? the man replies put a potato in your bathing suit. so the next day the man puts a potato in his bathing suit, this time he notices girls walking by and laughing, he goes to the man at the end of the day and asks why it did not work, the man replies, next time try putting the potato in the front

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whats the difference between you're mom and you're dad none there both the same

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Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. A number is a mathematical object used to count and measure.It is not a living thing and therefore does not possess thoughts and feelings.

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A dyslexic man walks into a saloon and asks for a hair cut.

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Q:Why didn't Mr. Fuzzy have to cut his hair anymore? A: Because he was diagnosed with cancer

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Is a tomato a vegetable? Depends if it is comatose.

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Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Um no horses are overrated.

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Why did danielle drop her ice cream cone? Because she was diabetic and had a blood sugar of 5.

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why did the Japanese boy drop his ice cream ? Because he was hit by a building.

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DID YOU HEAR THE FBI INVENTED A TELEPHONE THAT THEY CAN USE TO CALL THE DINOSAURS? ITS TRUE! Them DAMN DINOS REFUSE TO PICK UP THEIR CELLPHONES THOUGH! Nero: This is not completely accurate though, a T-Rex called us twice actually, but he just kept roaring, making communication impossible... ...That sad moment when you post a totally non ofensive joke, then to tell you that I might your father, me or one of the sixthy guys that bukkaked your mother which was sucking off a dog and... Anyway problem solved!

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Redcunt? You got to try being nicer if you want a proper answer

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar everyone is amazed because the surgery he just got cured his parilization

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What do you call a alcaholic walking down the street..... Roadkill

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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