What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing they just waved

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Chuck Norris does not get sick; He only gets sick when his immune system is weak.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ed. Ed who? Ed Begley Jr.

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You're Mother's so fat, she sat on a chair, and it broke.

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A man walks out of a bar. He didn't bring his driver's license, but managed to do a grand theft auto and unfortunately, crashed on the way home beacuse of a tree. Also, killed 12 people by car

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Jesus sacrificed his life to prove that he was immortal. So where does the part where he gets nailed to a stick and beaten the shit out of fit in?

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84.52% of users disapprove of your post, plus or minus 3%.

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roses are head mydick is blue i live in somolia and i killed all the jews

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Q.what has big ears? A.your vagina.

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j

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Reilly and Ross went up to fetch a pale of water when a triceratops turned them into bagels then ate them and later crapped them out....

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? Because Apocalypse arrived and dead people now have the ability to walk.

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America

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a boy jumps through a mirror and out a window then he fell so now he's dead.

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What has two legs and bleeds between them? The back half of a dog with a deep cut in its belly.

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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why did the blind man crash his car? he had down syndrome.

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Why was the black man hanging from the tree? He fell and had to grab a branch.

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Lebron James got a new iPhone, but he has to keep it on vibrate because he doesn't have any rings.

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What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Jews don't celebrate Christmas, therefore nothing

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I brought a parachute as carry on luggage, I was pulled aside at security and missed my flight.

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There were 3 women, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They all had different colors of hair because hair color varies depending on genetics.

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's Tyler Oh hey, come in

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What do you call a alcaholic walking down the street..... Roadkill

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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