What's black and white and red all over? A modern abstract painting

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You know you are really drunk if your blood alcohol Is higher than .08

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Beating cancer. Guess Steve Jobs they didn't make an app for that.

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Why don't people say YOLO anymore? They all died in car crashes while texting and driving.

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What is worse than a person eating cereal? A black person eating white children.

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What's the difference between a bicycle? An orange because it has no sleeves.

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violets are red my name is bob this poem makes no sense microwave

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Women's Rights.

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Dave: My wife just gave birth! The baby is doing good. John: You mean doing well?

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How do you get a dog and a baby mixed up? You stir your chili.

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what happened to the baseball player who couldnt throw? he was very unsuccessful, as throwing is the most important skill of the game

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why are black people so good at basketball? because they understand the fundamentals, work hard at becoming better, and have fun playing the game/

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Wha did the fireman say when he burnt his finger? Shit.

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Husband: Take the f out of way. Wife: There's no f in way! Husband: You just swore

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills.

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Yesterday I was diagnosed with Depression... It made me sad.

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Thumbs up if u dont have aids:)

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how do people without arms and legs have sex? no one has sex with people without arms and legs.

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Q: What do you get if you combine a melody, instrumentation, rhythm, and vocals? A: Um, music, you idiot.

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what do you call a kid with no arms and legs under a bus an ambulance, he's obviously in pain

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I can't really remember the reason, it was about 5 years ago and a lot of things have happened since.

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what did the african say after he got beat by the cops? wow i really shouldn't have sliced that mans head off.

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A catholic priest gets a nun pregnant. He drowns the baby several months later.

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How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops